Description: i am not really sure what this means...maybe you keep getting dragged back into things that you know in your heart are truely wrong. Then you feel like a lone shell, empty, going in and out with the tide every day. The ocean could represent something supposed to be adventerous and interesting...but you dread it and hate it and never want to go back.
An empty Shell -------------------------------------------
The voices echo through out my visions
Like the waves in a shell
So long ago and far away
Yet they well you up with emotion
And you never want tide to go out
To bring you back to reality
Only to rough you up and shut you out
You'll never be the same again
AS you stare out your window
You feel a distant sense of lonliness
While your eyes are drowning in a sea of tears
And your heart skips a beat
The feelings of abandonment and lonliness
Still drag you with the tide
And when it goes back out, you know
You're not coming back
Ahhh but the tide comes in too...smile...reading this made me think of the beach I walk often...usually daily...and I use it as a "reflecting place"...a place of strength...pure thought...being there alot of times...just me...alone...as this work makes you feel reading it...yet...when I am there...thinking...I am not alone...just "away" for a little while...similar to you... Excellent words that make you invision them, not just read them..."Yet they well you up with emotion"... If you are feeling...you are living...and loving I say...soon to again... Take Care, ~Alan
Ok I liked your words but the choice of how you put them together did not flow well in my head I felt that to express your emotions with a sea so big you could have your words flow with each tidel wave. Peace Mandy
I think that this was beautiful. I love the way you've chosen to represent yourself with this one. Each metaphor is easy to understand and imagine, it adapts to its muse easily. I enjoyed reading it. Its flow is good and I just realised I didn't even notice that it didnt rhyme, it flowed so well for me. Which is a big deal as I'm usually a fan of writes that rhyme. Laura-Grace
Anyway, you've put some thought into this, keeping the "ocean" theme going right through. I like the way you started it by giving that echoing feeling of n empty shell to the ear. The line "heart skips a beat" just seemed to be a bit out of place with the rest. Perhaps you could use "undertow" here to keep in with the ocean theme.
Very well done, though, I really liked it, it's sad, and haunting and lovely to read.
hey very good write i like the way you used the sea to express your inner self do not be afraid of your emotions you can use them to help you become stronger and feel better for instance if a person keeps hearing there dumb or not normal than they are going to do evreything in there power to prove to these people they are not im troubled with the last line and when it goes back out you know your not coming back just try and remain positive dont give up if you need someone to talk to just comment me ill answer i promise please take care of yourself and continue to write it makes us feel better
Submission Name: An empty Shell
