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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Snake Dance (limerick)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Limerick/Comedy
    Total Views: 2738
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 792



    Description:
       
    I believe it may be impossible to take a limerick seriously. The name implies silliness. Still, I think it is more than the form that made Nantucket famous.

    I understand that this is not a true limerick because it consists of several stanzas strung together. You are free to read the first one as the limerick and see the other verses as commentary in verse.

    The purpose here is only to make you grin.

    I hope you enjoy it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSnake Dance (limerick)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    They said, "What a marvelous dance!
    Look at him jump and prance!"
    He replied, "No applause,
    It is only because
    A snake is up the leg of my pants!"

    She betrayed a sly silent smile.
    Then examined the wall's art deco style.
    She dared not mention
    Her secret intention
    After all, it was her pet reptile.

    The crowd shifted, split and spread wide
    As she quickly moved to his side.
    She opened his belt
    Reached down and felt
    All the places a boa might hide.

    You see that is how it began.
    They left walking hand in hand.
    If her design doesn't falter
    Soon they'll meet at the altar
    Due to her sneaky snake plan.




    Submitted on 2005-10-08 11:36:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I found this little trouser snake saga to be charming and engaging. I would get rid of the exclamation marks personally.
    | Posted on 2006-06-20 00:00:00 | by Edna Sweetlove | [ Reply to This ]
      I had the impression a limerick was only one stanza long but obviously i was wrong (why the hell does the saying you learn something new every day always creep into my head its so over used lol) anyways i found this very lively and active for the reader, it read fast and fun like, thanks for sharing this with us. Hope to hear from you soon. have a wonderful day amber
    | Posted on 2006-03-26 00:00:00 | by amber_in_wyomin | [ Reply to This ]
      Part of the purpose of a limerick (or set of limericks) is that it (or they) should be funny. These are not, sadly. Also the metrical scheme goes totally off course in the final stanza.

    Trouser snakes are, of course, a very old and famous species of reptile. The only way to deal with a really rampant one is to give it a good long suck, as this will draw its venom.
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by Edna Sweetlove | [ Reply to This ]
      I would gladly have a snake crawl up my pants if a woman would feel around and get it for me. I would change a couple of words here and there to improve the rhythm. Other than that it was good.
    | Posted on 2006-01-06 00:00:00 | by dude90998 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great. I think a limerick must have perfect rythym and with a few words here and there added or taken out it would be perfect!
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by D McDaniel | [ Reply to This ]
      really enjoyed this, well done, nice to have a giggle when there can be so much doom and gloom around. Difficult to critique, I would only add or take away certain words in a few places, but that is only due to how I read. It's first rate, nice one.

    TTFN
    V
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by Vastmark | [ Reply to This ]
      oh my! that went throguh the rating fast ! wow, completely and utterly... brilliant! i love it! haha,my what a hoot! i think that this is one of the best clean limericks i've heard, and yes this one IS clean compared to others i know...

    anyway good work
    ~Raven~
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by lucianraven | [ Reply to This ]
      this makes the idea of having a snake as a pet quite appealng ha ha ha
    you certainly went to town on this...naughy you.
    and what a story...i was expecting five lines but you gave us so much more...what a treat
    lol
    it is really four for the price of one
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by ertha | [ Reply to This ]
      i certainly got a giggle out your limmericks strung together.. limmericks seem to be sprouting up 'round this site a lot lately. i enjoyed yours very much. thanks for the laugh!

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh yeah, this is fun Chrystine, and it seems every stanza could pass for a limerick. I've seen other writers here use individual Tanka as stanzas, and you needed a little space,

    to let the whole story out?

    hhhmmmm...maybe a trip to the petting zoo is in order?

    peace and giggles,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very cool. i love it ha ha ha Greame and I have little limerick battles at night but he always stomps me into the ground. wonderfully funny with sexual tones in it. truly a great piece of work here. from start to finsh it is entertaining. I freaking love this one ha ha

    ~mike
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      ha ha ha! Well, you achieved your goal, LMAO!

    You should join me and Mike, in our Limerick wars! We pick a subject for the day, and write a dozen limeicks each, straight off the top of the head.

    I really enjoyed this, nothing wrong with stringing them together, it worked well.

    Well done

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo
    this was a cute write that made me laugh something i dont do much of
    by the way thank you for your recent comments to my poetry
    i will try to write it over but to be honest with you i have never rewritten a poem
    i appreciate it all the nice comments
    to call it a masterpiece you almost floored me
    that was the biggest comment i ever recieved
    it brought tears to my eyes


    THANK YOU

    and please keep in touch
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this a lot. it has a great humor to it and tells quite an amusing little story! one of my favorites so far!

    ~smlaw
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by smlaw | [ Reply to This ]


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