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    dots Submission Name: Auto Focusdots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 447

       This was written about two months ago as an analogy between the elements required for excellent photographs and the timing neccessary to craft an ideal relationship.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAuto Focusdots

    If we wait
    too long, shadows
    overtake us; the
    contrasts that create
    delicate contours vanish,
    bodies melt before souls
    envelop ecstacy, kissed amiss
    by the alchemy of
    ordinary life, nothing
    remains, purity is neither
    gray nor black nor white,
    bit mapped in the
    obscure calligraphy
    of unexamined wonders
    pooled in the sweet
    palmistry of night

    Submitted on 2005-10-08 15:48:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh, this is very nice. I'm kind of obsessed with photography, so the title caught my eye. Your word choice is excellent. The only thing I can criticize is that I'd punctuate it differently (I don't think you need some commas, and some commas need to be terminal punctuation), but that's a matter of preference. I also like the minimalism in this. Excellent work, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautiful to hear, and read, and I'd like to thank you for it. I already want to share this piece with a particular friend of mine, who I know will enjoy it. Thanks for the good read... I love the wording and the structure is just spiffy. Peace. -rue
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by Rue | [ Reply to This ]
      indeed this is well crafted.almost to good if thats possible(lol).i love it when something is compared(an emotion)to something that is not expected.i try to do the same in some of mine=this was a hell of a lot better.i either require the write to make me feel,or think=this made me think and to that i say thanks.

    there is a whole lot of talent here i usually try to give some sort of advice,but none is around


    wes all toyysruss
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]
      Your analogy between perfection for photography and relationships was beautifully stated. There is not much else I can say about this piece... Im speechless... Thats new for me!
    My favorite is "bodies melt before souls
    envelop ecstacy, kissed amiss
    by the alchemy of
    ordinary life" The combining of perfect timing is necessary for both but I can certainly relate a lot more to missed opportunites for relationships... This speaks to my heart of building passion and ecstasy almost exploding but never given the opportunity to grow... WOW... thats all I have to say
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      Mmmm, a nice piece of missed opportunities. I like your thinking of comparing missed photos with missed relationships, it's true, and bears thinking re how many opportunities have gone begging?

    Nicely structured and good word choice, I really liked this a lot. Well done.

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]

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