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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: If Teardrops Were Diamondsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lipgl0ssed
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 41/39/9
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 270
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 763



    Description:
       We all think we're alone in this, yet, we've all been there.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf Teardrops Were Diamondsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    If teardrops were diamonds,
    imagine how rich we could be.
    If broken hearts equaled fortune,
    possessions, abounding, by holding the key.
    If loneliness could make us all wealthy,
    we would all be considered "elite."
    Exchanging our misery for rubies,
    even living the life of a "sheik."

    If failed relationships were equal to stock,
    we could surely give Wall Street a whirl.
    If emptiness transformed into an oyster,
    our baskets would be overflowing with pearls.
    If, by chance, we could measure life by precious gems,
    the notion would not be so completely absurd.
    The reality coming down to comparison,
    we all merely search for the word.




    Submitted on 2005-10-09 06:48:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nicely done. The rhyming seemed forced, especially in the "elite ... / ... sheik" instance. In the second stanza, some of the lines ran unnaturally long in comparison to earlier lines.

    But, you kept the idea fresh all throughout the piece, keeping the reader interested and tuned toward what was going on. I like how you used Wall Street as a piece of imagery, nailing the poem down in reality and present-day speech.

    Overall, nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by Tissue | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. You gave a new twist on the theme, and brought a part of yourself to it. It's good! er...That's all I have to say!
    Cheers,
    ~Persephone~
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. You gave a new twist on the theme, and brought a part of yourself to it. It's good! er...That's all I have to say!
    Cheers,
    ~Persephone~
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this poem.I don't know what else to say about it.It struck me as well written and awesome!
    [-Candace-]
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by ArtichokeMosher | [ Reply to This ]
      I LOVE the overall concept, and I can definately relate. Although it seems very sad, it is expressed in a lovely way, and i thoroughly enjoyed it.
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by CompletelyME | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem. I sounds as though you've been through this quite often, unfortunatly, I cannot relate to what you say. Do not be afraid to be alone; whenever you feel exceedingly lonely, find a friend, a good one who will listen, and tell them how you feel. Sorry, I'm going off about councling.
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by WindEmpress | [ Reply to This ]
      This seems really sad... But I liked it. Some parts rhyme, some where you could, didn't. But good job. Make it longer and it would be nice.
    | Posted on 2005-10-09 00:00:00 | by RyukiTZR | [ Reply to This ]


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