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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dreamsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: net
    Elite Ratio:    2.9 - 21/14/6
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 248
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 430



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDreamsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    dreams are like stars a ray of hope a ray of light in the darkness they taunt you. They seem so close but when you reach out for them they are to far away. they watch you trying to give you hope yet producind but despair. They are always there Taunting,taunting,taunting until you go mad. Im already gone. How far dont ask me will i ever come back who knows...Im all alone in my own little room with only dreams that drive me mad.




    Submitted on 2005-10-09 23:39:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The only thing I could critisize about this is that it does not classify as poetry. Other than that, this had an interesting content and message. I think that if you fix the flow of this one, then it could qualify as a favourite

    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it! IT's so ture..ish. What dreams are you speaking of? Apsiration dreams or dreams you have at night while sleeping? (the freams I have at night may drive me mad eventually heh). But yes, to the critiques! Punctuation is key! There were missing periods, missing capital letters (are those punctuations??), and missing comas..maybe. I didn't find this at all hard to read, if all flowed really well. Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2006-05-06 00:00:00 | by Itzunori | [ Reply to This ]
      Without line breaks, it was a hassle to read this one. Even without it, this is a mediocre poem at best. You go right from "Dreams" to the speaker going somewhere. Where did he go? Why did he leave? What does that have to do with the rest of the poem? This felt like a jumbled mess of things that don't fit together.
    | Posted on 2005-10-10 00:00:00 | by Tissue | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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