My life sucks by Wolfeye

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Submission Name: My life sucks dots

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Author:	Wolfeye_666
ASL Info:	14/M/Canada
Elite Ratio:	6.53 - 140/112/21
Words:	82

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	369
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	576

Description:
Let me die, only one can help me

My life sucks dots

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Miserable,
Is what I am,
And I’ll remain that way,
Until the world ends,

I have came to an end,
Where nothing counts,
And I’d burry myself alive,
Because the only thing that kept me alive,
Isn’t helping me,

I am gone,
Until when?
Until the world ends,

And die alone,
Cause the only thing I cared about,
Isn’t saying anything,
And nothing can stop me,
So please,
Let me suffer,
And let me die,
Why?
My life sucks…

Submitted on 2005-10-10 18:37:37 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  wow that is pry blunt. well written and you got your point across, hope life gets really better for you.

One question, what was keeping you alive?
| Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by aprilrenee101 | [ Reply to This ]
  personally I find it ridiculous that people base everything on age...I've been thinking right along these lines with ya since I was 11! but I totally get what your saying here in any case... awesome write..you definatly have your own, straight to the point style that I completely love! nice write...keep writing!
^
~jess
| Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  I have to agree with Sethesin. Even I myself didn't think of life like that when I was 13, or even 16 for that matter! You should really go and have some fun... But are you just writing this or is it true?
| Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Saaber | [ Reply to This ]
  Such childishness! You know nothing! You are 13. You dont even have a life yet. Soon you will be smoking grass, drinking whiskey and [censored] your girlfriend five ways 'till Sunday. When I was 13 I played computer games and started fires! Go have some fun, while your young! Do it for me. DO IT FOR ME!!

-Sethesin
| Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
  That was a truely deep and emitionnal poem Kevin..Hope that you cheer up though..Being depressed all the time isn't fun.. Even though I do it :P EWWWWWWWW!SOUNDED WRONG..sorry I've got 1L of coke in me!SUGAR HIGH NESS!WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
| Posted on 2005-10-18 00:00:00 | by Dark_Angel | [ Reply to This ]
  hey... u've got talent... and life is not that bad... just believe that it will get better and i really will get better... just have faith in god and move on in life... its no use being all sad and depressed .. it wont help... smile , be happy and remember there maybe some one out there who wants u to smile and make thier life a brighter one... so dont ever think that ur life is over coz if god thought that he would not have kept u alive this long... the reason why u live is that god still has a plan for u man... believe it... so cheer up... and think positive.
| Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by submarine | [ Reply to This ]
  as you see, there are so many other people here that feel the same thing. i liked how your wrote this out.
where life is too dark for your to go on it seems.
whats the use?
why does it matter?
there are so many of these questions that we can ask oursleves, but we know there is no answer.
believe me when i also say i can relate to the feelings. everyone goes through this, some more then others. but let me tell you that i wasted years of my life being depressed when i didnt need to be. it wasnt worth it.. its just not worth it.
~
jenn
| Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
  I think this was a good poem. Maybe you could've done a little better but the message was clear. You help describe a stage that everyone goes through every once in a while. So keep writing so i can read more. :-)
Much Support,
Danni
| Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
  yes! love it man! you stole the words right out of my mouth! very good write, here lots of depression heck more than that beyond mere depression, actual despair. i go through these thoughts in stages. i dont know about you but i have very very excited highs and very freaking low lows. what you have stated here is my low point the "please let me die phase" or "im in the pit of hell and i cant get out" i connect with the mood here, i feel the pain. very nicely done,

~mike
| Posted on 2005-10-10 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Dude, I know exactly what you're saying. I've felt the same way almost my entire life. I really liked your poem, it was very well written and original. I do have some advice though, some advice that a very special person gave me a long time ago. "There's no use in being depressed because being depressed is too depressing." So try to smile and have a good time anyways.
| Posted on 2005-10-10 00:00:00 | by disposablesoul | [ Reply to This ]
  There’s emotion here all right but I have trouble feeling a connection because I have no idea, after reading this why your life sucks and why you are miserable and believe it or not that's the kind of thing people like to hear about because they can usually realte to similar situations.
.
I have came to an end,
Where nothing counts,
And I’d burry[bury] myself alive,
Because the only thing that kept me alive,
Isn’t helping me,

It would be helpful if you could have expanded on this idea. What
Was the only thing?

And die alone,
Cause the only thing I cared about,
Isn’t saying anything,

And here things don’t say anything, so perhaps if you did mean a person you could have said “the only one I cared about isn’t saying anything”.

I would be tempted to rewrite this if this were mine to add those tidbits, but also I would change the order of some of the lines to keep the reader going in the direction you want and to keep the thoughts more cohesive.

Perhaps I would do this, start with the most dramatic statement:

I have came to an end,
Where nothing counts.

Miserable,
Is what I am,
And I’ll remain that way,
Until the world ends,
,
I’ll bury myself alive,
Because the only thing that kept me alive,
Isn’t helping me,

And die alone

'Cause the only thing I cared about,
Isn’t saying anything,

And nothing can stop me.
My life sucks

So please,
Let me suffer--
let me die

I am gone,
Until when?
Until the world ends.

So start and end with really dramatic statements to leave a greater impact. direct the reader through the emotion . I took out the word “why” because it’s redundant. So those are my thoughts about your poem. It has lots of possibilities. Thanks ~chris
,
…

| Posted on 2006-06-17 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]

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