Description: Tony stood too close to me last night. That's all I can really say.
So Close -------------------------------------------
He stood so close
That I could feel his breath against my ear.
He whispered something to me
That I couldn't really hear.
He stood so very close to me
That his shoulder brushed my own.
Then his body pressed a little closer,
And I could smell his cologne.
It was a scent I knew too well,
One that caused my heart to race.
I wanted to turn and kiss his lips,
Connect that smell with a face.
Then he turned and walked away.
My pulse began to slow.
He was just a stranger that smelled
Like this boy I used to know.
That was so kool... It causes everyones to beleive it will lead to some sort of passionate and moving moment when it is only a stranger with the same smell..It still leads to a moving moment to me.. simpley wonderful
Amazing. Simply amazing. The entire poem builds up, tempting you to simply think that it's another passion piece, tenderly playing across your own mind. Then, at the end, it drops you on the ground, letting you wonder what exactly happened.
Beautiful, in every respect. The rhyme scheme was unobtrusive, allowing unity and nothing more. It fits perfectly in that respect.
I can imagine the scene in my head. Fantastic job. A favorite, for sure.
another one i love! girl you speak my language with all this...in fact last night i was at a bar and this guy came up to get a drink and smelled just like this guy i know. then he spoke and sounded just like him, but when i turned to look, not him. i thought i was going crazy until my friend was like, OMG that sounded just like Travis, and smelt like him to...scary. but great write