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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stupid Again -revisiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Leala
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 245/299/70
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 337
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 443



    Description:
       This is a revision of Stupid Again.... let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStupid Again -revisiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Love
    That feeling that takes over everything.
    You barely notice the days. . .
    unless he's there.

    Freezing cold.
    Then he holds your hand,
    And you feel warmth again.
    but once he lets go,
    you're helplessly alone.

    My heart feels so small and cold;
    that's its defense.
    This feeling will soon take over,
    and I'll be stupid again.




    Submitted on 2005-10-11 10:27:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Please dont call yourself stupid its just not right
    how can you be such a thing when in actuality you are just weighing out the situation before jumping into something that can be permanent

    I dont call that stupid i call that being very smart


    continue writing please you have a talent that is waiting to shine


    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      a bit short but still a good write... I think that foolish should replace stupid just to make it flow better...though I like the harsh tone stupid gives off...

    one thing that may need to be added to this and I dunno I may be wrong...but maybe you should add another stanza explaining why the stupidity? stupid for loving? stupid for loving the wrong one? stupid for putting up the defense of a small cold heart?

    Tina the ghetto ballerina
    | Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]



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