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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Transitiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nolram
    ASL Info:    29/M
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 58/61/32
    Words: 302
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1324
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2178



    Description:
       this is my first post here. I heard about this site from a friend. I wish it was easier to find people on this site. Anyway, maybe he will reply to this..and if not, any other replies are welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTransitiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Leaves rustle in the breeze
    A 60 cycle hum lies beneath
    the chaos of humanity walking the streets
    And nature brings it all to it's knees

    It's been this way awhile
    the endless circle of things
    It'll be this way a while
    the turbulent existence of beings

    I dread myself
    And my droll smile
    I regret your coldness you regret my lack of style

    A sick state of being.
    A mere rockstar fantasy
    Cold clashs reality
    A loss of feeling

    Tired and numb
    stale and old
    youthful fantasies
    congregate
    harsh reality

    Some amongst us don't grow
    Some self conciously become old
    The healthy blossom and continue to shake the mold
    those more rigid stay glued to a local barstool
    and are dead inside even before the end of their youth

    Or maybe that is a facade put up to block
    the adolescent notion that
    maturing is an arrogant shame;
    Youthful arrogance gone to waste

    Another cog to participate in everyone's game


    --------------------------------------------------------------


    O lamentable loss of naivety
    How great it was to draw attention
    with honest youthful exuberance
    and immense amounts of tension

    True ignorance was a blessing
    There were no lies
    Festering wounds left alone
    Decieved not the troubled eye

    How lonely; a transitional stage
    unsure concern over true needs and desires
    over-wary of bitter rage
    bottled up adolescent, emotional fires
    abandoned in a resentful place
    with a need to go higher
    sabatoged by a lack of desire
    and a paradoxical inability to turn the page

    Robbed by time
    the clock ticks on
    stuck in a transition
    a jaded vacuum away from fun

    nothing to look back on
    nothing to look foward too
    perpetual adolescence
    brews a trancendentally aimless stew




    Submitted on 2005-10-11 19:28:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You are a very conscious person, even when you are confused you have adequate words for it!

    Funny, this the first one you posted, but it is maybe the best.
    | Posted on 2009-06-17 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      fuuuck man! this was AWESOME! great! and stuff . . . . i couldn't take a breath or anything i just had to keep reading. i don't really know what else to say - it was really moving. sad and depressing with hidden answers of sorts. beautiful. just [censored] beautiful.

    you'll like this place. it's cool place for writers to hang out and exchange ideas and some times get on each others nerves. but you'll get a lot out of it. a lot of artists and spiritual people and a lot of low lifes too . . . but it evens out. but yeah keep posting man. i'm glad you came.

    oh yeah - life sucks. and helmets are expensive.
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      "A 60 cycle hum lies beneath
    the chaos of humanity walking the streets
    And nature brings it all to it's knees"

    Now thats a intro, the brings the reader in with alot of visuall imagery. "the chaos of humanity walking the streets", gives a swirl of visions of people ravaging through life.
    "Some amongst us don't grow
    others self conciously become old
    The healthy blossom and continue to shake the mold
    those more rigid stay glued to a local barstool
    and are dead inside even before the end of their youth" this may be the one of the most truiest statements ive read on this site. people zombie through life doing the everyday mundane, while openly after a couple drinks or privately to themselves remenise over past accaliads.
    "nothing to look back on
    nothing to look foward too
    perpetual adolescence
    brews a trancendentally aimless stew"
    this breaks the entire piece down and brings a great closure to a very interally open poem.

    take it easy... great write....

    one...
    | Posted on 2005-10-17 00:00:00 | by elohimswork | [ Reply to This ]
      That. Was. Pretty. Awesome. Coming of age is a complicated matter. I liked your angle on it. The rhyme scheme was, to say the least, off of the proverbial "hook." Great one for a first post.
    | Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW is all I can really say! great write! I loved it...the flow was great your choice of words was near perfect...I got so many sweet images in my mind...I really really liked it...the idea(s) you portryed were great and the length didn't bother the reader or bore anyone.
    very nice write. thnx for the great read.
    Peace.
    | Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]


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