Description: In an ongoing effort to expand my literary horizons, I offer an attempt of religous poetry. Or more specifically a religous themed poem. I am not preaching here nor offering judgements. This is about the crucifixtion.
Could one only image the suffering of one with so much passion for those he loved? It is hard for even me to comprehend. Someone placing a crown of thorns that penetrated into ones skull, driving nails in ones hands and feet, the beating and suffering, poking at him tearing his skin. I couldn't have made that ultimate sacrifice myself, for I am to weak. But he did it for me! How can I not be a believer?? A write well written!
Who wrote this?! Is this the same Ben Collier who concieved of the eniffible verses of "Doggy style kind" and such?
Well, let's see. I'm not to fond of glorifying or reliving the crucifixion or death, because the focus should be on the love shown through the sacrifice rather than the gory awful stuff. Mel Gibsons movie was too much. However, it's a very intersesting thing to write on, and you did make your point pretty clear, but you need to fix the rhythm, particluarly in the fisrt stanza. It falls a little bit short. I don't know if you shoud use the aaaaaa, bbbbbb, cccccc pattern in this one, it just gets tiresome. Anyway, I'm glad to see that you're starting to show some seriousness. Maybe you're starting to grow up a liitle bit.
this is what 'The Passion of The Christ' would be like if it was a poem. um, the second stanza's rhyme was a bit...i guess unsmooth, but not really bad. I don't know what a scrum is, (?) but overall good job.
I really enjoy the room for interpretation in spirituality and "IS"ness. Jesus was trying to sincerely help the people caught up in the mundane rule and law bound to their own crosses by control and he was, even in his physical death, trying to show us all that the spirit of God is within us and it is not something that can be extinguished; even when it is martyred, murdered, silenced, stoned, controlled ~ "IT" still is. Politics and religion have perpetuated this story and your piece illustrates this very, very well. I liked the rhythmatic, heartbeat feel to "IT". Well done friend! Funny, I did one yesterday ~ Bliss Garden that is also spiritually focused. Good challenge! Happy days to you and your family! Love,Peace,Joy! tif
This is definately interesting...I really like the rhyming...and the imagery...definately the imagery...Even though I am not really religious this made me kind of sad...Like wow how horrible and lonely and miserable...God job!
I'm not so much into religious/serious poetry, but I think you hit the jack-pot on this one. It's very good. It seems to me that it focusses on the problems in society and about the crumbling of faith and stuff like that. Great job, and keep it up.