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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Eternaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: charmedidentity
    ASL Info:    23/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    6.9 - 864/897/406
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 969
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 932



    Description:
       This is dedicated to someone I cherish deeply. It says that everything we are struggling through now will pay off once we have each other and know that tomorrow will be perfect.
    Thanks for your time.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEternaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    The heartbeat of the music,
    So free with calm and excitement-
    The sun neither hot nor cold,
    The sand neither wet nor dry,
    The people neither happy nor sad,
    Freedom from worries, perfection.

    The heartbeat of our love,
    So pure and trustworthy-
    A meant to be for eternity,
    A moment seized for a lifetime,
    A person who loves you deeply,
    No pretence, just you and me.

    The heartbeat of the days,
    So unpredictable and amazing-
    Living up to every surprise,
    Living up to every success,
    Living up to every failure,
    This beauty we share is forever.

    The heartbeat of our paradise,
    So ecstatic with sparkling light-
    This is what we worked hard for,
    This is what we have sacrificed for,
    This is what we have fought for,
    Freedom from worries, perfection.




    Submitted on 2005-10-13 16:23:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoyed this one! At first, I looked at the way it was laid out, and thought, maybe I won't like this, but after the first few lines, I got hooked and had to keep reading. I really enjoyed EVERYTHING about this piece. I can't say there's anywhere for improvement, because this piece is good enough, and doesn't appear to need anything else. I love the imgaery, and the emotion that pours from your words as well. The feeling of just knowing you made it through the problems, and are still standing strong, is a great thing to write about. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by miss__smiles | [ Reply to This ]
      It's unbelievable how people can describe sintelating emotions that capture the hearts purest form. Which you have grasped in this piece. Detailing every emotion with a happy thought. Be happy, because you have seriously been in a place I like to call the purest of poetry. Just you and words with meanings so powerful, no one else can take from you.
    | Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by lmen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    77545

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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