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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Face the Musicdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ratboy
    ASL Info:    17/Male/South Slocan B.C.
    Elite Ratio:    5.17 - 50/73/22
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1193
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 435



    Description:
       All the alliteration in this makes it fun to say out loud. I was listening to music through my computer headphones as I composed it. Enjoy!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFace the Musicdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pump my score uncut from Hell
    To purge the liquid whispers
    Playing from my pores

    Now soak my heart in sweaty sound
    The strings of life so sweet
    As drums destroy the doors

    Bedlam has my brain, I know
    It bleeds a basic course
    Of note by broken note

    Together, take the tunnel deep
    Where talk can never touch
    And gravity can float




    Submitted on 2005-10-13 16:36:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ha!
    i love it!
    i little strange, but i love the line: 'as drums destroy the doors' and the last line 'togther, take the tunnel deep, where talk can never touch, and gravity can float'

    very much me like!

    CinnamonT
    | Posted on 2005-11-02 00:00:00 | by Avril54 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, um...wow. Interesting. I'm a bit confused. I don't think I get it...wow, I feel stupid... It's a good piece and put together well, don't get me wrong. I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to get from it...hold on, let me read through it again...
    Okay, I read it again...still kinda lost, but is it supposed to be how music is like a life line in our life, no matter how you incorperate it, it just seems to work?
    You make my head hurt from all the thinking, Sam...
    Have a good week, take the strike to your advantage!
    Luv ya,
    Kim
    | Posted on 2005-10-17 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      one word-psycadellic! lol. sorry. thats the first thing that came tomind when i started reading it. but seriously... it's like a whole different demension. i really like the last line "where gravity can float" *dreamy look* ah,if only. i want to float... anyways, that was awesome sam. imagery is always your strong point. :) i have to admit, at the first line my immidiate thought was sex. heh. my mind's in the gutter isn't it? what i got from the poem was you were walking through memories and everything around you was crashing down. the "doors" as you put it were being beaten down by the drums, pounding away. until you finally found a place away from all that. a place just to get away and be consumed. that may not be what you meant, but its what i got from it. if you have time, tell me if i'm right?
    _Kat
    | Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by PsychoBabble214 | [ Reply to This ]
      When I read this, I tried to analyze a bit more than I usually did. I don't know if this is correct or not, correct me if I'm wrong, but I can see why you labelled this as passion. In the first verse it says "purge the liguid whispers, Playing from my pores". When you sweat, liquid comes out of your pores to cool you down. Obviously, to me, the first verse says you are sweating.

    Next, as you talk about the heart, you say "the strings of life so sweet, As drums destroy the doors". So, something is "destroying" or opening the doors of your heart. Love and passion for someone could invade your heart for sure.

    Then you say "Bedlam has my brain, I know, It bleeds a basic course". Obviously, your mind/thoughts/brain are messed up or in chaos over the "basic course" that stays strong in your mind. The passion you experience can sometimes muddle up people's minds, make them think or do silly things.

    And finally, you say "Together, take the tunnel deep". "Together" denotes that you are in the company of another person. Combined with "the tunnel deep", it sounds like you are going into the tunnel of love with your sweetheart/love interest.

    In conclusion, your poem is very well written and exhibits a good idea of your passionate feelings. I really enjoyed reading it. I hope I didn't bore you with my analysis. I hope my analysis was good and hopefully, correct. If you ever feel like discussing it or any other poetry, just let me know.

    Sincerely,
    Manwithnoname
    | Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]


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