Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Plague


Author: Nynaeve
ASL Info:    23, female, Israel
Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 43 /67 /28
Words: 72
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 998
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 444



Description:


It's a morbid poem... and if you're looking for rhymes... you won't find'em here.


Plague



I wish I had you in my hands
My rotting flesh, pressed against yours
I wish I could drench the life from thee
My stark cold fingers wrapped around your neck.

Pressing tightly
My snow white knuckles grow firm
Not daring to let go
My eyes close
An attempt to escape
But there is no way out
I am but a plague.

Soon we shall meet at your doorstep.




Submitted on 2005-10-13 16:52:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is sad but a very interestibg write
You are thinking of others with this write
You show us the readers that thou you love someone you are not selfish and will not let selfishness guide you
I truly admire that
I for one strongly believe Love will come to you
Its when you go looking for it that trouble happens
God Bless
Your Friend
Ron

And Thank You for all your recent comments
I am glad this site briught us together as friends
Ron
| Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  This is creepy, but cool. I'm not sure what the line "an attempt to escape" is referring to. It sticks out in the sentance stanza and I can't figure out whether it is the victim or the plague that is trying to escape. Is the Plague simply acknowledging that an attempt to escape is happening or is his fantasy an attempt to escape himself? Otherwise this is creepy in a really cool and forboding way. I think I'll go wash my hands.
VanillaLeaves
| Posted on 2005-10-14 00:00:00 | by VanillaLeaves | [ Reply to This ]
  Despite the previous posts, I'm getting an impression of someone(male or female) that has become a tiresome presence in a friends life. I suppose it's possible I'm adding an emotion others have claimed you lack, but I've met people who filter their lives through the experiences of friends and strangers, but have nothing of themselves to share. Interesting work, keep writing.
| Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't know about this. Maybe it's just me, but it sounds like you tried to make a poem from nothing. What was the inspiration for the piece? Where is the emotion, the meaning?
| Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by Raistlin Sith | [ Reply to This ]
  u left the reader hanging as to what ur trying 2 say.i am a fan of making it hard 4 the reader 2 understand and leaving it up to eaches own interpatation=but ya got 2 give a little more info to work with

some great imagery though=expand upon


peace toyysruss
| Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



77548