Personal Ad by birdy5005

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Personal Ad dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	birdy5005
Elite Ratio:	4.45 - 180/134/29
Words:	58

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	280
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	452

Description:
wow i havent submitted anything is sooo long.
i had the urge to write while listening to the presidents of the united states and when completely unexpected, i got this...

Personal Ad dots

-------------------------------------------

Deeper than my eyes
Faker than my smile
Getting to know me
Will take you awhile

I'm tiring and
Completely complex
Seeks relationship
Not about the sex

Tall, dark, and handsome
Is not my desire
Personality
Should light like a fire

Beliefs: no preference
Smoker: who really cares
Just commit yourself
And always be there

Submitted on 2005-10-13 19:27:05 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Man, you should of been the one to write my profile when I use to date like online. lol. This was good. I liked the realness of it, the bluntness. I enjoyed the way you described what you wanted and gave minute tidbits about yourself. Very Creative!

Catrina
| Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice, short, simple, and cute.

I was a bit thown off, though, as the beginning seemed satirical, but by the end it felt as if the speaker was being genuine... I guess I would have liked it better if the entire thing had the same tone to it, or if the surprise came at the end instead of the beginning.
| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by bitterlily | [ Reply to This ]
  Funny! I like the part:Beliefs: no preference
Smoker: who really cares
Just commit yourself
And always be there. That really craked me up! I bet alot of people respond to this if you did post it?
Kelley Frost
| Posted on 2006-03-26 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
  Cool... Did you post this online? This would be the best add. I think this is great...

Deeper than my eyes
Faker than my smile
Getting to know me
Will take you awhile

This is my favorite part. These dating services are so ridiculous... yet I can't keep from posting on them... Crazy, isn't it?
| Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
  first thing I would like to address...
am I the only one that thinks alcoholcaust brings up a rather irrelevant comment...Who Cares if any ones a homosexual..that has nothing to do with the poem...
and Sam a nickname for a girl named Samantha...like I see that your name is...ok now that that’s off my chest...
this is a very simple poem...
it flows together nicely
and there isn't much that I would change..
it has a good message I think
especially for younger girls...
that relationships are about more then what is on the surface...
good intelligent write,
Swanne
| Posted on 2006-03-18 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]
  I like it! it kind of makes fun of the whole random dating thing that seems to happen so often today...
| Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by pamplemousse | [ Reply to This ]
  uuummmm...This was good, although I had the impression that you might be homosexual. Only because your name is sam, but in this you said "tall, dark, and handsome is not what I desire" IDK. I loved the flow though. Good Job!
Alyssa
| Posted on 2006-02-27 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this poem! It's very very creative, I would have never thought to turn a personal ad into a poem. What inspired you to do that? That's a great idea. I think this poem is cute, and I'm sure if you made this into a personal add you'd get alot of response! :)

Great Job!
~Cris
| Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by my_worst_fear85 | [ Reply to This ]
  yea, this is going in my favorties,
the ryming is nice, and the idea is great
i see nothig wrong with the problem besides faker though..

but i would leave it the same
| Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by UnHoLyPoPe | [ Reply to This ]
  nice and simple ad.. we do wear masks, don't we?
it takes awhile and some understanding to let down
our guard in love.. i totally agree about sex not
being the most important. it's that soul connection
i look for. commitment is a hard thing for a lot of
people.

thanks for sharing your ad. i hope you find what
you are looking for.

peace,
~Cat
| Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  Isn't that what we are all looking for. I really hate when you meet someone and they seem so great and as time goes by the pretty colors fade.
| Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by jadedsiren1 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a really sweet little poem you have here. Reading this put a smile on my face! Someone could use this as an ad in one of those dating thingies, I have never used one personally. But you have included all the most important parts of someone that really mean something. Someone who is willing to commit and just be there for you with a great personality. Yup! That is really what matters. This is very nicely written and expressed. Thanks for the smile. Take care.

Lorna
| Posted on 2006-02-07 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  Wonderful work. The only thing I can find wrong are technicals. Before I get to those, this is going on my favorites list.
Now for the technicals. I don't believe there is such a word as "faker". I think it would be "more fake", but a better word would be "falser". The only other thing is that the first 2 lines in the second stanza didn't really go together. WONDERFUL write, and many more in the fiture I would hope. Clever concept well pulled off. 5/5
Wishing for more,
-Brian
| Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
  This is very clever; a portrayal of a personal ad or a profile on dating sites (such as, well, obviously, |e|harmony and others).
This poem portrays good values for when you're looking for someone, and I happen to like the rhyme scheme you used. Without the rhyming I'm positive (despite the fact only fools are positive) that it would not have been even close to as good to read and enjoyable.
Marvelous write- again, very clever and unique.
Keep it up.
~Ana.
| Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by Ana_Mad | [ Reply to This ]
  very well written
can you just imagine posting this in the romances wanted section of your paper
i would be so curious as to see what responses you get
it shows that you are genuine
you dont go for the adonis just because of his looks

i always say to people i would date a 500 pound woman with personality over a top model
i swear thats true and you i see have the same feelings

Let Love Shine

Take Care
Ron
| Posted on 2005-10-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  nice e harmony ad in rhyme. You know, a lot of people have said the same thing to me. They're so complex, and I'll never understand. Sometimes it's just the things they don't know you understand that makes them feel complex.
| Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by Raistlin Sith | [ Reply to This ]
  That's almost kind of funny, don't get me wrong it's really good, it just almost sounds like some kind of spoof. Good write though!
Bennie
| Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by disposablesoul | [ Reply to This ]
  First off.....I like how you made this poem a person add. That was really neat. I also like how you don't care about how they look....but about their personality. That is the most important thing in a relationship. I really enjoyed this. I think along these same lines. Great write!
| Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
  Personal ad, very mod! Tres mangificant! haha. I enjoyed it, as it had this very poetic feel to it, while maintaining the some-what serious topic of finding "the one". The character doesnt seem too picky, or too needy. All in all, I think the character represents what all of us are looking for, and the person we seem to think we are.

Good work!
-Ann
| Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.