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    dots Submission Name: Unritleddots

    Author: miss__smiles
    ASL Info:    16/f/Soo, Ont
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 117/110/20
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 712
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 614

       I have no idea what to name this one!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I sit here writing these words
    I can't think of what to say
    I'm stuck with the pain you gave me
    It grows with each passing day.

    I should've seen the signs
    I should've known it deep inside
    But I cannot take the pain
    But I can no longer hide.

    I can't take the hits anymore
    I can barely stand on my feet
    I can't put on a smile
    And talk to the people I meet.

    But I can move past you
    I just need to know this:
    Did you ever really love me
    Or did I imagine this?

    Submitted on 2005-10-13 20:52:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Ahhh I like this one a lot better. I'm assuming this is kind of like you're write I just previously read and they have to deal with the same situation. This one had more of a beat and rhythm. So I don't believe I found any flaws in this one. I can say this seems actually a lot like your previous one just in different words cause this has all the same emotion in it. I'm sorry you are going through this. I still haven't thought of a plan yet but I'm getting there. See I don't want to plan something too harsh or messy but I usually tend to think that way when it comes to how I could tear men apart (almost literally). Haha. Ok but I think I have another write or two of yours to read still so I'm off again...

    (didn't feel like writing my whole name cause I'm too lazy but yet again I could type all of this. LOL)
    | Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      this is kind of like "this is what you did to me" poetry. the last line just hits hard. the rest seems kind of mediocre, the short lines, the rhymes, the way you try to show the hurt but it lacks some of the pain. i'm quite sorry you're hurt. keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by fabulousAMY | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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