Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A place without emotionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Abort_Chaotic
    ASL Info:    19 almost 20
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 201/172/50
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 975
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1168



    Description:
       it's about blah read it and you can probably figure it out
    please leave comments


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA place without emotionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    An ache riddled with bullet holes,
    lets blow up the dust in a frenzied blur.
    Without order it all shows
    That I never really cared for her.

    Red roses,
    campaign the beloved.
    One more herald to a last poetic opinion of obstract poses,
    no more kisses no more for the unloved.

    Curious whirlwinds of emotions plummet and recreate,
    tonight we touch face to face with a newfound hate.


    .if stars could bleed, they'd bleed on me.
    .if the moon could fall, it'd fall to earth and crush me.
    .if darkness was a place, it would be forever darkness and me.

    Crimsons grasps of ivory overflow;
    tonight below this plateau.
    We lament of a sorrow,
    and we all hope for no tommorow.

    A plan laced in a barbed emotion,
    rippling to the tides of an ocean.
    I've made too many assumptions,
    ( turns out I was right. )

    You'll never see this loving face,
    I've found a new place.
    Here it's forever night,
    away from you it's a beautiful sight.




    Submitted on 2005-10-14 18:32:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      '.if stars could bleed, they'd bleed on me.
    .if the moon could fall, it'd fall to earth and crush me.
    .if darkness was a place, it would be forever darkness and me.'

    though it was all well done, this was my favorite part.
    You have amazing talent, so far everything I have read from was very well done.
    I have liked them all very much.

    Again there is not much I can say about this.
    The emotions were well relayed in this poem.
    You could feel it..
    You discriptions worked perfectly with the picture you were painting.
    the style you write is interesting, very free, it seems reflect more of the writer.
    another great job
    ~jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-11-09 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow again. Man I loved this one too. I like how you mix sweetness with the rough side of love... it's so different from the way you used to write. That scared me so much! So I like how you have changed a bit in that way.
    ".if stars could bleed, they'd bleed on me.
    .if the moon could fall, it'd fall to earth and crush me.
    .if darkness was a place, it would be forever darkness and me."
    Those lines made me smile. Really good! I love it. So glad I couldn't sleep tonight so I could read it.
    I like how it's kind of chaotic... you don't have a particular rhyme scheme, each stanza changes, it's interesting. Beautiful, just beautiful. Now you gotta read my latest
    | Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    77664

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry