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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Poetry in the Nudedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1215
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1410



    Description:
       What can I say? It was just there and I had to write it down.

    (Lala is the mystic poet that walked about in the nude singing her poems.)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPoetry in the Nudedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Would it bother you
    if I presented my mind
    as a nude?
    Do I need
    some sort of excuse?
    Is it rude?
    Will you accuse me
    of mental perversion?

    What if there was no style
    to make it attractive
    and no fashion interaction?
    Imagine a train of thought
    with nothing sucked in.
    What then
    would it be?

    If it greeted you at the door
    with no disguise…
    would you be surprised?
    Would you be offended
    or see it
    as an invitation
    to sensation?
    Would you give an order
    to cover up the expanse
    of all that nature has given?

    We dress our contemplation
    to impress
    with success
    in accumulation
    and beg for adulation.
    Then we bend and twist
    to girdle our thoughts
    within the latest trend.

    I have been
    there
    and must say
    never again
    to that terrible sin
    of constriction.

    I'll not make an apology
    if it agitates
    religious mythology
    or standard decency.
    That is simply
    not my concern.
    In turn,
    I expect no respect
    just the space
    where I can wear
    all that God has given me.

    (Lala, we love you.)




    Submitted on 2005-10-15 11:51:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      I too shall concede with most others here, nothing between to clutter and confuse the reader from where you stand.
    I must say that after reading two great spiritually moving pieces the title caught my eye to see what perspective might be hidden away here.
    Yes it be no wonder to me why most men enjoy 'Lala Land', me included in those standing in line by the gate. It is so true how we guise our thoughts to the world, then expect others to take us seriously when all is a fraud just to get acceptance. Nudity of thoughts, not thoughts of nudity will put that underwear/swimsuit/sleepwear Victoria ladie out of business especially if it comes to writing good poetry.I'm glad I stopped by for something refreshing.
    | Posted on 2005-12-04 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this. you totaly spoke your mind and its sound like a very political piece. haha random acts of poetry. i would love to live in a place where i could go every night to a cafe and hear people get up and read there writing. have an open mike. even musicans come and play. that would be a breath of air. very good.
    oh and thank you for your comments on naked.
    snuff
    | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by snufthepunk28 | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting write. I can see this as the writer baring her soul. Just laying her words out there for the world to do with what they will. Not holding back. That in itself I would think, is about like walking around in the nude.
    No apologies. Expressing herself in writing, from her own heart, not for the world. Yet, if others get something from it .. then all the better.
    Enjoyed!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha, with that title, I would have expected many more reads. To your question I would simply say that laying our thoughts out in poetry, allowing everyone to read and comment on it, that may take more guts that strutting about sans clothes. But at my age, the nude bit would take more stones. The pen isn't just mightier than the sword.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooo, this is a very clever wordplay poem you have here... I enjoyed reading it out a lot, I have to say.

    It comes across almost like slam-poetry in its rhyming, rhythm and general bouncy feeling... know what I mean?

    It's a very cool concept that you have worded fantastically... poetry in the nude indeed... wouldn't that make for an interesting reading? I must remember to bring that up at the next reading I attend... I'm sure I'll get a lot of funny looks hahaha.

    I don't have anything to say regarding any improvements, so I'll just say "my hat is off to you, madam."

    Great write.
    Jase
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      I think nude is perfect for poets. If we have a voice, and speak our minds, how could anything be hidden? And too, the more honest the voice becomes the more naked the bag of skin that rides the soul becomes. Yes, I find the soul to be so old, that I want to give her respect and awe far beyond my present life's ability.

    I like the concept you write about here and how you present it, thanks Chrystine,
    peace and love,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the idea of poetry with nothing between the poet and page. I tend to be a mental nude most of the time, and I say things that are inappropriate sometimes, but I just let the people around me blush and get on with my day. It seems all of the greats where like that (from Rimbaud to Bob Dylan). Ginsberg used to read nude too. Conversely, I don't understand why a naked body gets people so uptight. I even see people snicker in art museums. Hey, I say we be at least one kind of naked all of the time, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I Thought it was great, I think there's a time and place to be naked. Like the beach, under a coat, play boy, In your space you have all rights to be naked, I sleep naked.
    Peace Mandy
    | Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by mandy dupuis | [ Reply to This ]
      I found this wonderfull written. It flowed very well and got a message across. I think it was beautifull the way you stated this. I like the way you compared original thought to being naked. Most people do find it too be a horrible sin to think for yourself and act like it is a horrible crime that should be punished. And I like how you metaphorically layed yourself naked in this poem. It was wonderful.
    | Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by Briannan | [ Reply to This ]
      This was so original and honestly very well written. The entire concept as I see it was very powerful, it is in your face like" hey look at me and if you do not like, I could care less, cause I have this energy that you can't touch"... I think I will add to my favorite list...Cheers!
    | Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by manicsmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      Stripped down to bare essentials, conciseness of thought, is that not what poetry is supposed to be? Of course! Lose all the raiment, the undergarments, the jewelry,even the makeup. Show us the soul of the poet! Do not hide feelings in ostentatious wordings. Don't bury a dream under gilted trappings. Unravel the wool of the convoluted pullover. Show us the backside of your imagination, up front, without so much as a thong of obscurity. Undress your intentions. Let your pen dance exotic. Is this not how we all should write, with the honesty only full exposure can convey? I could not agree more with your concept. You speak truth., and you speak it with honesty. Maybe a little naked truth would, in fact, stir the emotions of the reader. Once again, is this not poetry? Right on!

    Phil
    | Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]


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