Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Paradox of You

Author: Luckyduck
ASL Info:    19/f
Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 89 /76 /12
Words: 46
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 818
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 342


For my sweet lover who abounds in imperfections.

The Paradox of You

Being of you-
in you,
about you,
inspires dissension
in the mind of my heart.
Mind my heart,
for the strength of
its frailty,
for the frigidity of
its blaze,
for the indifference of
its passion,
the effects
of the wounds
of your healing touch.

Submitted on 2005-10-15 18:19:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I really enjoyed this. I don't agree with die_another_day. I didn't have to force myself to read because you captured the feelings in my heart. Only a true poet can do that. Very well done.
| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]
  I do like this poem. It is cleverly written and contains some interesting ideas. The first few lines are really good. My only comment would be that the lack of punctuation makes the reader have to work pretty hard to catch the flow. otherwise, well done.
| Posted on 2005-10-17 00:00:00 | by adamastor | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed it, I liked the contrasts that you made and I think its very short and to the point piece. Keep up the good work.
| Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by CynicalxDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
  it was short clear and too the piont i like that yet it was short clear and too the point whisn can sometimes but not so good and in this instance its okay its not the best but its not the worst so it was akot write ~1~

| Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by heavy knowledge | [ Reply to This ]
It was okay.
No, it was good.
It just didn't grab my attention.
I had to force myself to read the rest.
It was quite good though.
| Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by die_another_day | [ Reply to This ]
  thats not to bad its got some flow short yet decently deep. But if i were you try putting a little more into your poetry if you write a little more detail i think people will understand your passion better good write though.
| Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by thehiddenone | [ Reply to This ]
  Very subtle, yet very paaionate and with much inner meaning. Your thoughts were short, but spoke volumes as to how you feel. A very good and quite poignant piece of writing - well done.
| Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?