It Was Never
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Description:
It's sad how memories die away over time until eventually it seems like the event never happened at all and you're just hanging onto this cloud-whisp of a recollection.
It Was Never
You saw it in a dream But dreams don't last. Can't say it was there Because now it has passed. I saw you once; You held me close In vapor arms Of the palest ghost. We sat in trees Like idle flowers, Time flowing like water For precious hours. Now I can't say if I was ever there. Days pass to nights in a blur, And all I can do is sit and stare. Perception becomes unclear. |
Submitted on 2005-10-15 18:28:42 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| overall, i liked this (as usual, i love your writing dani). i too especially like thed lines We sat in trees Like idle flowers, Time flowing like water For precious hours. I feel like that perfectly encapsulates how i feel about the time i spend with the people I love. That may sound random, but I've been thinking about that lately. And oddly enough, I'm also terrified of losing those memories, that one day they'll "pass to nights in a blur." The only lines I didn't particularly like were the last two. It almost seemed as though you couldn't think of a good ending, so you rushed to write something. That may be totally off course, but they seem a bit off from the rest of the poem. | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Kalidoscopeeyes | [ Reply to This ] | There were a couple of lines that I really loved: | We sat in trees Like idle flowers, Time flowing like water just that little bit was so smooth and peaceful. You felt like everything is going as it should and everything will be alright then there comes this line: Days pass to nights in a blur, kind of like the dream is slowly fading away and all you can really remember is that there was a dream and that it might or might not have happened personally I liked this poem; there were a couple of lines here and there that could do with some editing for example: 'and I can sit and stare'... do you mean 'and all I can do is sit and stare' (though the beat would be a bit off) just little things, maybe read over it in a day or two otherwise I liked this poem; it was very flowy and soft and smooth, like a dream keep that pen to that paper -mystmaker | Posted on 2005-10-15 00:00:00 | by MystMaker | [ Reply to This ] | |
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