untitled by Seedofbayne

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Submission Name: untitled dots

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Author:	Seedofbayne
ASL Info:	19/M/MA
Elite Ratio:	3.37 - 55/82/27
Words:	98

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	209
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	607

Description:
this is about Natalie

untitled dots

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she blows my mind
she rocks my world
never leaves behind
a forgotten pearl

a diamond in my ruff
i love her so damn much
she has all the right stuff
such a soft sense of touch

she lights my fire every damn day
like BK she can have me her way

together forever
and always too
an endless endeavor
and only for you

time is just a word when im with you
this is a love i need to construe
together forever and never undue
now and again, all is for you
<3

Submitted on 2005-10-16 11:56:55 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  to my opinion this poem was constucted well and there was a nice usage of words. I can truly relate to your poem in more ways than one. You should keep on writing and the more and more you write the better they wil get. you have a gift and you need to continue.
| Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by Booka | [ Reply to This ]
  there was a time when this type of poem of been mine.. n maybe i miss the old times but i no now that [censored] happens n no matter wat u gotta keep goin.. n i think i learn that from u i think our relationship helpd me let go of the past.. love you mike thanks for everything
| Posted on 2005-10-17 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a really sweet poem, did you give a copy to Natalie? If/when you do, or if you did, I bet you'll get a big hug!
Natalie's a lucky girl to have someone write something this sweet for her.
| Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
  this is not bad at all. Like poeticprincess says, one of your stanzas doesn't have as many lines as the others. THat doesn't always matter, but if all the otheres are equal, It looks as if it's the odd ball out... Besides all that it's a sweet poem
Much Love
| Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]
  this is really sweet. Love is such nice feeling to have when first comes into play. Anyways, I am usually not a huge an of rhyming but I thought it fit this well. Yeah I must say I also noticed the shorter stanza but no big eal because it still makes sense.
| Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by EL | [ Reply to This ]
  this is so sweet. The rhymeing was great and the flow and story were awsome. One of your stanza's didn't have as many lines as the others though. But this was a great poem.
Much Support,
Danni
| Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]

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