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    dots Submission Name: As Thoughts Meanderdots

    Author: CrypticBard
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 369/381/227
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1221
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 691

       Appreciation goes out to Jase Morales for his priceless collaboration of visual formatting.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAs Thoughts Meanderdots


    revolutions of the second hand
    are innumerable to the watchful eye,
    which has not comforted this bruising


    nor can heart's run far enough away
    from pulsing, cancerous gangrene;
    and off to the darkest mile it treads


    in the cooling of a fading day,
    a gentle crushing blow fixes completely
    the drowning, despondent smiles

    ...of yesterday

    as wafting wavelets wail forlornly,
    while whispering affections now silent;
    hearkening back to more innocent times

    ...found wanting

    Submitted on 2005-10-17 19:02:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well, this is looking much better!
    And compliments go to your editor as well.
    Good one Jason.
    Great to read your stuff.
    Will be back.
    | Posted on 2005-10-18 00:00:00 | by arkayye | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I really like the wording of this, and the structure is neat. I got some nice imagery and really thought about it. I can't say there is something you could do to make it better, and it's just allover interesting. I read over it a couple times and I think I'm adding it to my favorites. I'll look for some other works of yours.

    | Posted on 2005-10-17 00:00:00 | by frozenconscienc | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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