Well I have mixed feelings here. First of all a very noble title for this poem. Kinda puts a lot of demand on this poem to be really outstanding. The poem itself is very simple and concise with a familiar rhyme which isnt bad but adds no uniqueness to the poem itself. I think you could spice this one up with some imagery or some descriptive qualities and more emotions. There really isnt anything here for the reader to grab onto and feel. But dont get me wrong, I like what you have here. It has the makings of a wonderful poem but it needs a little more something added to it. Take care.
well the rhyming doesn't seem so creative. ive seen words put together like this before and its not forced at least but something new would of been better. i did like the idea but i think you could stretch it out more. personally, you did an okay job with the descriptive part but you could add more. emotions and maybe more scenery. if you know what i mean. hope that helps. lovely.