[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Within Teardropsdots

    Author: Aken Sol
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 197/204/67
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 822
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 614

       Been a while since i've written anything. Inspiration came into my arms... literally.
    Any feedback would be most appreciated

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithin Teardropsdots

    Enchanted, I take the plunge.
    Letting go of my self restraint.
    Letting go of everything,
    Everything for you.

    Happiness is found in steps from
    Crescent paths to crested chests.
    I knew, and still i lost my gem,
    Many steps too late.

    Underneath the smiles and giggles,
    Open wounds still lie across
    Your heart that i wish to have.
    Even if another has it.

    Viciously silent, i sit and wait
    Over pretty words like fate.
    Lost in thought and falling hard,
    I sink away slowly with eyes closed.

    Submitted on 2005-10-17 22:07:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      very pretty...i say this at the risk of sounding like im five...but it is, love and broken hearts, they always seem to fit together...i guess it's because in the end love is always ended and it always end painfully, leaving someone hurt.Things get better.
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      even if it has another...speaks to me of true love...unconditional and pure...always present and a constant...your write spoke of this to me...captivating and draws you into it as you read further, nicely done.
    | Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by MidnghtScorpion | [ Reply to This ]
      I got trapped in the feel and the flow of this one. It was almost like calming sounds of ocean waves rising to shore. Sounds like you care a great deal for this certain someone. Best of luck with that. And if it doesn't work out, atleast you're poem rocked.
    | Posted on 2005-10-18 00:00:00 | by JR Hoodlum | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, really nice, I was dragged into your story here, dragged into your obsession with this person, despite the fact that it may be a hopeless case.

    You've written this somewhat wistfully, yet with a scathing determination to get what you want ("viciously silent")

    I'm very impressed with this, excellent work

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-10-18 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Push written by JanePlane
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    This written by Chelebel
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]