Description: This poem is about my greatest wish right now. This is what I want the most right now, to make it short, it is about how I feel nowadays...
I ask you……. -------------------------------------------
Every night
When stars are born
Light defeated and darkness has won
I ask you
Not to let the curtain of my eyes raise next day
Let them not a word to say
Give me the peace my heart seeks for
Let my restless soul pass the golden door
Every time
When the world becomes almost soundless
Everyone going to the fairyland and the reality gets meaningless
I ask you
Not to let me feel the air of reality once again
Let me lose this being, give me death as gain
Fulfil my last and only desire
Delete my life’s burning fire
Each morning
When the golden king comes out
Spreads brightness with a shout
I, I realize that
I am still here, and here I will stay
I realize that
Another night is gone without taking me away
Another night
When stars are born
Light defeated and darkness has won
I love this poem. Just this tale of a struggle and even though there isn't a background behind the story after you read it, you are forced to think about it. Think about the things this girl has gone through and had to deal with going through life just depressed and miserable every day to want to be dead when she falls asleep. I love the vivid piucture of the stars and how darkness won its like the true meaning of night. Its like you want to feel this sorroww that she is feeling and its sad cause you dont want her to go through it anymore but you dont want her to die either hoping one day her life changes and she doesnt have to wish that anymore. But on the other hand she cant see that brighter day ahead and you dont know what she has to put up with or the amount of tears she cried. This is a great write i could see and feel everything and honestly from beginning to the end i enjoed it every noun and every verb....Thank you i will be back for more.
Not to let me feel the air of reality once again Let me lose this being, give me death as gain Fulfil my last and only desire Delete my life’s burning fire"
well a good sad writing very depressive i love it .. every word was in its place .. you did it good .. i love it so keep writing and thanks for sharing and if you have time please take a look to my writings.. take care peace and love and have a nice day Victor
Oh! My friend Shabnam. I agree with all my fellow eliteskill's writers that it is so sad and it really hurt me so much to find you feeling like this. I feel despaired to read that one because it shows the things you're hidding within your beautiful soul. I told you one thousand time to forget that pains and that problems which are making your life as hell. Time can change everything and you are a muslim lady that have a trust in God's will, and God says that He did not change the bad things without us to change what's in our souls. So, please try to live your life as it should be babe. You do not know that life is deserved to be lived because of that too many people that loves you and cares to your matters. The part that made me cry was that one: " Each morning When Golden king comes out Spreads brightness with a shout
I, I realize that I am still here, and here I will stay I realize that Another night is gone without taking me away." why do you keep your life like this, with sadness and with miseries. Everything has a solution, there is nothing in that world that did not have a solution. Try to get over your miseries and your problems because there are many people who cares for you... And I am one of them. At last your poem is really well-written and it is so deep. TAKE CARE.
This is a very dark poem I would say to you ask yourself why do you fear the light Is it because you believe a new day brings new problems or new miseries If that is the case look deeply at those problems and motivate yourself to grasp at the positive energy waiting for you to grab it Positive energy will help you to overcome lifes problems Its like I always say Look deeply and carefully at every negative and I gurantee you yoy will find A positive Its so true Please Take Care of Yourself
You might want to look at some of my Poems Ive been told there very inspirational Take Care Ron
I could not help but thinkof an imortal al I read that its like a person how was cursed to live forever because of so mis deed but has lived so long the it feels it as seen enough of life and begs for the day when the sun rises without it soul being trap in the prison that is its body.
I think it is a great concept could use some work in the grammer department but otherwise it is pritty good I do say. now let me say this after you comment on my latest I felt a bit insulted it was so short and not at all constructive. I read you work meaning to bash it and get under your skin so you would not be so nice next time but I must be honest I a usually am I was good and I liked it.
This is such a dark and sad poem. I think it is very well written and expressed. It bothers me though that these are indeed your feelings. I hate to be like a preacher to you but I cant seem to help it. Life is precious and even though things seem so bad right now, not living anymore should not be what you wish for. All things change and in time so will whatever it is you are going through now. You cant throw away your entire life just because things seem to much to deal with at the present time. Things can get better today, tomorrow or anytime thereafter. You gotta just try to pull yourself out of this mind set and try to see things differently. You can change anything in your life that you want to change to make it better and happier. I hope you feel better and hang in there. We all go through tough times but it is those times that make us stronger. Please take care of yourself.
wow thats deep real deep..i sometimes feel the same as you..it was a pleasure reading this i enjoyed it alot
My favorite part..
I ask you
Not to let me feel the air reality once again Let me lose this being, give me death as gain Fulfil my last and only desire Delete the my life’s burning fir
Submission Name: I ask you…….
