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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: blunt wordsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sushi wok
    ASL Info:    19/f/australia
    Elite Ratio:    4.12 - 64/67/13
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 818
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 204



    Description:
       this poem i wrote the day i asked this guy out. he said he didn't have the same feelings for me that i had for him. i wrote this ages ago and have gotten over it so please no sympathy.

    i don't care what you say about my poem as long as you don't bash it to bits.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsblunt wordsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blunt words cut through me.
    Though they do not puncture,
    It shatters my heart.
    And as I walk away, from my love.
    I cry a thousand tears,
    That he will never see.




    Submitted on 2005-10-19 06:12:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Simple and to the point. I'm glad you are over this and him. I think the poem was well worded and full of emotions that ranged from despair to hurt. I think the way you ended this was just right. Good job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      There is always beauty in simplicity. If brevity is the soul of wit, certainly it is also the heart of emotion. The rythm of the work is very...eastern, asian. I like it, it fits the words well.
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, words can do that. I agree that you should never let him see you cry. Guys are jerks a lot of the time, but there are some good ones left. You'll find one. Hugs, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      once again thought process being totally duplicated in your work. man i can't believe how many tears i have cried that he hasnt know about. i loved this poem. short, to the point, yet grasping at emotions and tugging on the strings of the heart. another good work i must say... keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by withouthope | [ Reply to This ]
      Yep... never give them the satisfaction of seeing you cry!

    We all have to face folks that use careless or harmful words. However, like being tickled, when they think it doesn't affect us, they quit.

    Well said!

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]


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