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unbalanced


Author: Drea
ASL Info:    18/f/nowhere
Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 289 /142 /53
Words: 56
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 939
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 310



Description:


This suxs. LIke I mean really suxs. but my friend said to post EVERYTHING I write even the sucky ones.


unbalanced



You alwayz look
But you never see
It like you skip
But you never leap
I still dont get
Why you cant see
All I want
Is for you to sacrifice for me
Im alwayz here for you
And forever true
So why cant you do for me
Like I do for you.




Submitted on 2005-10-19 17:15:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Probably A more bigger picture could add a extra flavour to the writing.Anyways good emotions and feelings.It was pretty cool
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by anonymous69 | [ Reply to This ]
  Probably A more bigger picture could add a extra flavour to the writing.Anyways good emotions and feelings.It was pretty cool
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by anonymous69 | [ Reply to This ]
  This seems like it's for someone you love that perhaps you don't know if they feel the same way or you know they don't and it hurts. You are young and this may happen more than once but it doesn't soften the blow at the time!
Keep up getting your feelings out!
Love,Peace,Joy! tif
| Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  It's not bad ideally, just needs some work.

first off, too general. details create pictures, a few details paint entire murals.

second, the rythm is off kilter, but yo uprobably know both of these judging from your description . . .

it's not as bad as you make out though.
| Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by AptPupilofLife2 | [ Reply to This ]
  yea.. its kinda like wen u want something so bad n u truly want the other person to feel to the same but it takes a while for us to realize that all of our wasted effort never workd n it hurts to realize that.. dont worry it was a good write i liked it.. short n sweet
| Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


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