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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: unbalanceddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Drea
    ASL Info:    18/f/nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 289/142/53
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 827
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 310



    Description:
       This suxs. LIke I mean really suxs. but my friend said to post EVERYTHING I write even the sucky ones.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsunbalanceddots
    -------------------------------------------


    You alwayz look
    But you never see
    It like you skip
    But you never leap
    I still dont get
    Why you cant see
    All I want
    Is for you to sacrifice for me
    Im alwayz here for you
    And forever true
    So why cant you do for me
    Like I do for you.




    Submitted on 2005-10-19 17:15:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Probably A more bigger picture could add a extra flavour to the writing.Anyways good emotions and feelings.It was pretty cool
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by anonymous69 | [ Reply to This ]
      Probably A more bigger picture could add a extra flavour to the writing.Anyways good emotions and feelings.It was pretty cool
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by anonymous69 | [ Reply to This ]
      This seems like it's for someone you love that perhaps you don't know if they feel the same way or you know they don't and it hurts. You are young and this may happen more than once but it doesn't soften the blow at the time!
    Keep up getting your feelings out!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      It's not bad ideally, just needs some work.

    first off, too general. details create pictures, a few details paint entire murals.

    second, the rythm is off kilter, but yo uprobably know both of these judging from your description . . .

    it's not as bad as you make out though.
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by AptPupilofLife2 | [ Reply to This ]
      yea.. its kinda like wen u want something so bad n u truly want the other person to feel to the same but it takes a while for us to realize that all of our wasted effort never workd n it hurts to realize that.. dont worry it was a good write i liked it.. short n sweet
    | Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


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