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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Puzzled, and Sufferingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Wolfeye_666
    ASL Info:    14/M/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    6.53 - 140/112/21
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 237
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 400



    Description:
       I'm puzzled


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPuzzled, and Sufferingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I was with you,
    I realized I liked you,
    No,
    I realized I loved you,

    And yesterday,
    She wanted me,
    Today,
    She doesn’t know,

    And now,
    I am there,
    In total chaos,
    In my pain,
    It really hurts,

    Tell me,
    Don’t let me suffer,
    I will suffer more,
    If you make me wait,




    Submitted on 2005-10-19 19:57:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was as good as the next love poem though I honestly feel like the topic is severly overused and abused on this site ...but for all it's worth this was another awesome write in my opinion and I could really tell you feel or felt alot for her...anybody is lucky to be important enough for someone to write about them...especially when the writer's pretty rock [censored] awesome himself./
    wicked write...keep it up;)
    -=~Jess
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      i just noticed you write alot about love. This one was good though. I liked the first stanza because it's like you had to think like or love. To totally different feelings that are related in a sense. Then through the rest of the poem you had me by a string so i could feel what you felt and everything. So keep up the good work.

    ~~Danni~~
    | Posted on 2005-11-13 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
      Hello, young fellow. You are not fat. I can smell it from this piece. You like rock music, I am not sure which type, maybe nu metal. The girl you like is a little mind[censored]er, good looking, but leds people by string. Over all, I can see you through your computer screen. I know you know. By the way I am Sethesin. Pleased to meet you. *shakes hand*. Advise : Take a step away from simple angst poems and explore your artistic ability, I know you have it in you. Also you are too young to know love, wait until you hit puberty.

    -Sethesin
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      i think this one was ok. i like the first stanza was the best. i won't say that u don't know luv cuz i don't know if i know what it is yet. i can't say ur too young to luv becuz i'm only a few years older than u. this poem was missing the raw emotion of love, but it seemed more like u had thought deeply about the subject and put both ur feelings and ur contemplations on paper
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      It seems as if though your mind is fixed on a girl you really like...love I dont know about because your still young and have not experienced the world. I hope by reading this you can get a feel of how our minds truly respond to the meaning of love. It's just...love is a feeling that is far too complex to define, this girl should not be worth your time since you always get hurt anywayz! You expressed your emotions clear and well, I was able to comprehend your point of view on this situation as well. Way to go and keep it up!

    Luv, Sharon
    | Posted on 2005-10-22 00:00:00 | by SavedDragon | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem expresses your feelings well. This is something I think we all experience at some point in our lives, maybe even more than once. It is so hard to deal with loving someone who doesnt feel the same way. And the fact that you are waiting to know how she feels or what she will do makes it even more difficult. If I were to make a suggestion to you it would probably be to not pressure her too much or you will scare her away. There is a saying that "silence is golden" and it really is true. She will think about you more and her feelings more if you give her time and not contact her. Then, if she doesnt contact you, at least you will have your answer and you can move on to find someone who will return your feelings. If this girl doesnt feel the same way for you, it would seem to be destined for you to get hurt further. Maybe you would be better off finding someone else. There are so many girls out there to take your mind and feelings off this one. I would give her some time but if that doesnt work then I would forget her and move on. As far as this poem goes, you did a nice job writing and explaining to the reader how you feel which always isnt easy to do. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't really like this. Don't get me wrong, I do think it has some potential. You said in your journal that you wanted people to comment, so that's what I am doing. I guess there's some emotion in you, but when readig this poem i feel as though you wrote it for nothing. I don't fell the passion, the strong emotion that comes with love.
    be happy
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]
      'When I was with you,
    I realized I liked you,
    No,
    I realized I loved you,'

    i liked this part the most.
    how you didnt know, then saw you liked her then loved her.
    very cool.
    alot of relationships start that way, as a friendship then go from there.

    i like the form of the short stanzas, always very cool.
    keeping a quick pace & building the emotion like here

    'And now,
    I am there,
    In total chaos,
    In my pain,
    It really hurt'

    this is nice too becuase its very raw feelings, those of which im sure everyone can relate to.
    then then end. a very sad note indeed, the plea to know the truth.
    waiting for an answer is harder then getting it, even if the outcome is not one to your favor. so i feel your pain.
    it just makes the whole thing longer & much more painful.
    nice poem, keep writting as always.
    soon you will pass me by!!!!!!!
    ~jenn


    | Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]



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