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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Putting your foot in it.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: eliott
    Elite Ratio:    2.31 - 1/5/2
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 592



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPutting your foot in it.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The saddest thing I ever saw was a man with only one shoe
    he half-walked half-skipped along hyde park, I watched him from a queue.
    he varied terrain to lighten his load,
    the foot on the grass , the shoe on the road.

    Later i passed him, his cap stuck out, and i advanced some coin.
    the varying fortunes of his feet had my curiosity breached, was it by fault or design?
    "did you loose a shoe or just throw one away?" and conversation had begun.
    "o, no no, much better than that, I've actually just found one".




    Submitted on 2005-10-20 06:31:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The last line made me laugh. Either that means I'm cruel and heartless or that the simple joy the man at finding a shoe was infectious. I'm going for the latter.

    The happiness in the line made the sadness and misery of his situation very poignant. And so did the little details, such as his walking on both grass and road. It made him seem real rather than a homeless stereo-type.

    The only thing I think could do with improving is the lay out. Maybe you could split up the lines a bit, for example:

    The saddest thing I ever saw
    was a man with only one shoe
    he half-walked half-skipped along hyde park,
    I watched him from a queue.

    looks and reads easier than before. Though of course the choice is yours.

    Thanks for sharing,

    Icarus.
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Icarus | [ Reply to This ]
      It is sad that he is homeless, I try to help people out as much as I can without being forced to join them. It is through this saddness that this man could find joy. Most of us have spent so long in the pleasures and comfort of life, yet we still complain when mommy bought our little brother a new toy. We complain when our food isn't finished yet or there's nothing on TV we want to watch. These people, to whom we feel sorry for, get so much joy when someone gives them a dollar, or find one person's trash that is now their treasure. They know the real meaning of life and what pain can bring, through hardships we pampered people could not fathom. To see the homeless smile brings tears to my eyes. This man was so happy he found one shoe, one shoe, and what by our our standards does this man have to smile about? Thank you for that, this one means something, it means a lot.
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by crowded_mind | [ Reply to This ]
      Ohhh! Isnt this so sad and unfortunate! How horrible it must be for people who must live this way. I dont live in an area where I have much chance of seeing someone who is this poor and its probably a good thing because I would only want to give them money and stuff. I would hate to see first hand someone who had to live this way and my heart would just bleed for them. I cant even imagine living life this way. You have done a great job writing this and capturing this experience that you had. So tragically sad! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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