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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: That which i seekdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Akai_Ame
    Elite Ratio:    4.79 - 223/180/46
    Words: 234
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 276
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1434



    Description:
       Alright, i posted this once before and not one person commented on it. I thought is was one of the better ones i've done. I was even thinking of maybe working on it some more. But i don't know what to add or remove. It is just a poem that i have added to over the span of about a month. The pattern is not the same through out the whole poem.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThat which i seekdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I don't know what to say.
    All I can do,
    is hold my feelings at bay.

    Time goes on and I still can't see,
    how on earth any of this is meant for me.

    All that I do,
    everything I see,
    just reminds me of you.

    Each passing day is just a repeat of the last.
    A never ending loop that haunts me.
    One that I can't get passed.
    This loop must end sometime.

    no life can stay the same.
    one heart should not have to endure this pain.
    no matter how hard they'd try,
    sooner or later it would drive them insane.

    Forever fighting just to break the loop.
    The one that is forever haunting,
    Forever taunting, their immortal soul.
    -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_-
    This life is not for me.
    I must get out of this damned loop.
    But I have a plan you see.
    One to save my heart from this pain.
    One to stop the haunting, taunting of my immortal soul.

    All it would take is a sharp knife
    And a really quick blow.
    No pain shall follow me.
    Not where I’d go.

    I’d be forever free.
    Can you see it?
    Wild, careless, and free.
    *sigh* yes. That which I see…
    Most definitely is what I crave.
    Eternal peace.
    Which can only be found in the grave.




    Submitted on 2005-10-20 07:01:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It is a lovely piece and I enjoyed it quite a bit sis! Good work! Sorry that you hadn't gotten a comment before. I'll make sure that next time I'll be the first, well, at least once this computer of mine is fixed.
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by Kenji Light | [ Reply to This ]
      wow!i am pleased with this piece! very similar to so much of my own work the i was drawn completely into your work as if it was my own...
    I MISS YOU!
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by The Minister | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece has a morbidity to it, which makes it all the more interesting. I really liked the way it was put together. Although I can't realate to seeing death as eternal piece either, since I am soon to bring life to another here very soon. I am 7 mos. pregnant. but I liked the way it flowed.
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by lost and alone | [ Reply to This ]
      I could relate to the beginning very well, but by the end I could see that we view life so differently. I don’t see death in itself as eternal piece. Death of the body is just part of the process we go through to reach it. However, death of someone’s spirit dose not have to accrue. If someone is wishing to take their own life then it probably means that their spirit is already near death. I do believe at the time of death the spirit must be live and well before eternal peace can accrue. I liked the way you use the word "loop" to describe being trapped in a circle that is never changing and never ending. We all battle this in our life, it's hard to break free from it, because we are bound to it by our habits and sins. To make a change means you will have to change, not many people today have the will power to.

    I'm sorry, I've went off on a rant over your work. I enjoyed this poem a lot, for the reason it opened my eyes to see the world through yours. Maybe some of my poems will do the same for you. I think our writing styles are similar also.

    I hope to read more.
    Lynn

    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]



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