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I messed it up...

Author: Captain Lucidit
ASL Info:    19/Male/Denmark
Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 5 /9 /2
Words: 196
Class/Type: Random Thoughts /Depressed
Total Views: 860
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1197


A few months ago I fell very much in love with an amazing girl. My best friend. I realized that she was in love with me too and I was supposed to be happy right? But the thing is that I'm raised in a christian home... A christian is not supposed to be with a non-christian and i knew that if I chose to be with this girl I would dissapoint my family and probably also some of my friends. It seems easy to say that I should just have given it a chance but it is tought to go against everything you have heard your entire life. Now a few months has passed in which I haven't really seen her so much, but as soon as I saw her again the old feelings was back. But now she is the one saying no.-.. She is not sure of my feelings and who can blame her???

Well... In this piece I'm not really trying to be poetic. I just need to get some of these feelings out because I'm extremely depressed... So it might seem really cliché... sorry about that.

I messed it up...

You used to love me
love me in your own awesome way
but I was afraid
Afraid of leaving the life i had lived until that day
A life full of rules, regulations and pressure
pressure from family and friends
none of them saying what I wanted to hear
that i could be with you
So i chose not to
You begged me to give it a chance
a chance that would change my life
but i couldn't

Now i look back and regret
regret that I was afraid
You are always in my thoughts
but the roles has switched
Now you're the one saying no
and i can't blame you

You probably think I'm playing with your feelings
You say I don't know what I want
You say that i have wasted my chance
You turn elsewere for comfort
You say that we are still great friends

But now I know what i want
I want another chance
a chance to make this right
the way it was supposed to be

But I know that it won't happen
You have moved on...
...and I understand

I messed it up

Submitted on 2005-10-20 09:40:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Wow. You have expressed what I have been feeling lately. A few months ago I also found that this guy I was friends with cared for me like I cared for him. But I was scared. I'm Catholic and he's Mormon (sorry about the spelling), and those don't really mix well. So I ended up avoiding a possible relationship. Now here I sit wanting him back ready to make take that risk, but I think he no longer cares. Love is a fickle thing the way it can control everything, but change us at the same time. This poem expressed this feeling beautifully. I am anxious to read more from you. I hope your love will go better then mine.
| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Sweet as Sugar | [ Reply to This ]
  This may be too little too late but:

"If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."
1 Corinthians 7.13

Christians certainly can be with, even marry non-Christians, according to the Bible anyway.

| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Icarus | [ Reply to This ]
  This is such a sad, unfortunate experience for you. I am sorry this happened. You know, you cant blame yourself too much for living the way you thought was right. I would think if she really loved you then she should understand the conflict you were faced with. However, I can also see her side of things as now she is filled with doubts about your feelings. A very complex situation and only time will tell what lies ahead. I believe that if you are meant to be, then you will be. If she truly loves you, she will come back. Maybe not right away but in time. If she doesnt return to you, then the love wasnt really there in the first place. She wouldnt just not love you anymore. Be patient and be understanding of her and her feelings. Who knows what the future holds. This is a good expression of your feelings and situation and I hope things work out for you. And if nothing else, you have learned something valuable for your future. Take care!

| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]

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