SCREAM by onetruesmartass

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Submission Name: SCREAM dots

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Author:	onetruesmartass
ASL Info:	30/F/Wa
Elite Ratio:	4.01 - 934/791/77
Words:	76

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	348
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	615

Description:
Sometimes the unknown is scarier that what we know.

SCREAM

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Thick, dark night
No light from a sliver moon
Hiding behind ghostly clouds.

The only sound
Ragged breathing,
Footsteps match a pounding heart.

Don't look back
It's still there
Still coming.

Claws rip from the ground,
Pulling at clothing, skin.
No escape.

Screams echoing.
No one to hear,
No one to care.

Sunlight dapples
Through leafy branches
Illuminates the woods.

A face frozen in
A mask of terror
Forever.

Submitted on 2005-10-20 11:18:13 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This is cool because it feels like a scene out of a horror film. we all have scares in life and things that happen in life scare even the tough ones in life away from the real events. hope this makes sense.
erin
| Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by devonsmom03 | [ Reply to This ]
  I like it :)
It has all the 'scary' related factors. Moon, heartbeats, footsteps, darkness, ragged breathing, ripped clothes... and then death for the perfect last touch *g*

Nyn
| Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by Nynaeve | [ Reply to This ]
  Spooky. Just right for halloween season (ha).
I could sense the fear while reading. Makes me want to stay clear of graveyards and dark nights after consuming this little bite of horror.
Well done Traci.
~Sandra
| Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is kind of scary it reminds me of walking home on a fall night and you have to go through the woods. There is a killer in the woods. It is a little bit creepy. I find it vaguely attractive and strangely compelling. I enjoyed reading it.

briannan
| Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by Briannan | [ Reply to This ]
  The scariest things are always the unknown. I like the way you express the terror without explaining the source. This feels like the beginning of one of my episodes of Inner Sanctum.

Well done,
Steve
| Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
  This would make a great halloween poem! I liked what it made you think. Well keep up the good work and if you get a chance come read some of my stuff and tell me what you think ok?
| Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a great poem for the halloween season! So spooky and really allows the reader to vision their own scary images in the mind! I can remember feeling this kind of feeling when I was little and had allowed my imagination to run away with all the horror movies I watch. hee hee! I love horror movies! And the last stanza here really leaves a haunting imprint in the mind. Kinda makes me think of the movie "The Shining" at the end where Jack is frozen in the maze! Awesome movie that is! And this is a really good write! Take care! Have a happy, goulish halloween!

Lorna
| Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  The readers imagination is what makes this work so well.

The setting and the mood
this thinking and the feeling I get from this....outstanding.

a new fave.

~shawn
| Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
  now this is my kinda stuff here! very nicely done Traci. i like the not knowing what's coming that reflects in your previous work "something's coming" and the write "fear" you have a harmony in your writes at times. they can compliment each other. "mask of terror" i like that. i picture a white face, buggy eyes and mouth gaping uggghhh ok enough of that. Great work! i love your dark pieces, keep em coming! ahhhhhhsome!

~mike
| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey! Great stuff, and I mean GREAT!

Talk about telling a story by leaving it all up to the reader's imagination...this is a terriffic example of minimalist writing.

Very effective, Travi, and very image-provoking and scary.

Excellent work!

Be Happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  I love scary poems! You have done well on this one, Traci Dear! I like that you end this piece without letting us put our mind around what it is that has the subject soo scared. Little clues, but nothing solid. Very spooky! I love Halloween and what it does to the mind!

Boo-dos to you!

-Chell-
| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]

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