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    dots Submission Name: The ballad of two warriorsdots

    Author: Akili
    Elite Ratio:    2.36 - 915/400/60
    Words: 343
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 929
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2197

       I had to write a ballad for class, and so I desided to do something that was like many other ballads but also not. (wants to see if anyone gets it)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe ballad of two warriorsdots

    Dispirited in battle
    Lost in ruin and strife.
    Lay the proud warrior
    his body ran though with a knife.

    A bard, a bard
    to remember my tale and pray
    to remamber the warriors
    lovers who fought under Sir. Kay.

    Against Sir. Henry they fought
    these two brightly burning stars.
    When under the sword fell one
    And died, in his lover’s arms.

    Battle paused for a moment
    a strangled voice screamed.
    Up stood the proud squire
    with a look that made one weak kneed.

    His face was dark
    his eyes were blank
    Without a word he scooped up his love
    and placed him by the riverbank.

    “Alas my soul
    would but god kill me for my wounded pride.”
    Was all that came from his trembling lips.
    Before towards Sir. Henry he did ride.

    With his head held so high
    and his brow so clear.
    It was clear to everyone
    the end for the squire was near.

    They cried in one deep voice
    For this warrior so proud.
    But he did not turn nor speak
    as the men before him bowed.

    With one clear sweep
    he fell those Against him.
    Then Sir. Henry cried out in fear
    as he saw that face so grim.

    Without another word the knight drew his spear
    and waited for the attack.
    The spears met then shattered
    proud Alec laughed coldly at the setback.

    His lips drew back in a snarl
    His eyes glowed with hate.
    Sir. Henry now drew back in fear
    for he now saw that death was his fate.

    The sword slashed though his chest
    with a strangled breath Sir. Henry fell.
    Alec spat on the blood stained corpse
    and wished it well in hell.

    Without a word or wound he stumbled
    away from the grassy hill.
    Towards his cold and silent lover
    Sir. Henry’s blood still fresh from the kill.

    At last he got to the place
    and lay by the riverbank.
    With two blood stained arms entwined
    the squire Alec died.

    Submitted on 2005-10-20 12:57:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      thanx for your views
    you know using caps saves a bit of time so i was using but now that you adviced i surely will have to use small letters now.
    and whats wrong with sinisters
    i wrote a poem based on my experience & if you were in my place you would have mentioned something else even more disasterous
    | Posted on 2007-05-08 00:00:00 | by SAMEER | [ Reply to This ]
      *cries* i hate you! it's too damn good! Dude, i almost cried the first time i read it and i did cry this time! if you don't get an A on this ballad then there's gonna be some serious hell to pay.

    It's just so perfect, you've kept with the rhyme scheme the whole way through and you're subject (tragic love, revenge) is just amazing! man, talk about tugging on heart strings!
    this is my favorite part:

    "The sword slashed though his chest
    with a strangled breath Sir. Henry fell.
    Alec spat on the blood stained corpse
    and wished it well in hell."

    Oh and yes, I do REALLY understand it... shonen-ai! shonen-ai! shonen-ai!

    you've done a great job... you should consider writing more of these, and not just for our english class. LOVES!
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      *Bows to the Akili* That was AMAZING! Truely beautiful. It gave me goosebumps. So sad...I love it, I am adding it to my favorites.

    "“Alas my soul
    would but god kill me for my wounded pride.”
    Was all that came from his trembling lips.
    Before towards Sir. Henry he did ride."

    Oh my, wonderful, absolutely wonderful...I hate you, lol. This was so good, how do you do it!? heh.


    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn you and your great ballad. You know it's going to be hella hard to get a grade close to yours...

    Great job, hun. This is really good. I think there were a few spelling errors though. Run it through spell check before you turn it in, okay?

    Okay, so you were right, I'm not totally sure if I understand it. Is it based on the IF's and there relationship...??

    Great job!
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]

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