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Darkness engulf me sooth my soul calm my mind my thoughts so clear the moon invites me peaking from behind the velvet curtains in my darkend lair silence surround me beutiful silence I can hear myself think praising Him gratefully you break my butiful silence flooding my lair with unreal light blinding my precious sight but the night will remain till dawn the moon peaking through my window Glory be to God who created darkness so calm and the moon so bright |
I'm not a big Jesus person but I do like to have things that have to be re-read a few times. I had to re-read it so as not to miss the meaning. It is a great poem. I love your writings. | Posted on 2007-09-23 00:00:00 | by deranged shadow | [ Reply to This ] | very nicely written. so quietly said, in such beautiful phrase. you make your point across, in 91 words. beautiful. | | Posted on 2007-01-16 00:00:00 | by _Phoenix | [ Reply to This ] | I really liked this poem, because it gave a feeling of understanding the silence, understanding what God has to say or not say. I believe this poem is one to be taken into ones own mind and understood how ever they wish. either way, it was a really good poem | ![]() | Posted on 2005-12-04 00:00:00 | by MyHeart2Yours | [ Reply to This ] | Dude this amazing. It' s really deep. I t totally makes you wonder about things. Your poems are soo...soo... gorgeous. lol. I know thats not what you weer thinking about oh well. | | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by UnPerfect | [ Reply to This ] | thanx for your kind words i am glad you like the words i write | i think your post was fantastic i also enjoy darkness of any kind it makes my mind at ease and that is when my best writes are written silence is also very gratifing to ecspecially how you said it surrounds you i think when everything is quiet and no one is talking is beautiful i stayed speechless for 7 years in a relationship once and never spoke to my partner until she went koo koo great write and we all make spelling mistakes no big deal sandman | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ] | This is a very different piece in that you give glory to god for darkness. Most people despise god for giving them darkness. i liked how you switched it up there. Silence surrounds me, I can hear myself think, beautiful silence praising him gratefully. This is my favorite line of the piece. The picture I pulled from it was that you thank him with out saying a word, Like in your head. Darkness engulf me, smooth my soul. Another great line, again very different meaning than expected. Though I am not a very religeous person, this is a enjoyable piece. Its kinda peaceful in its own way. Soothing. The only thing that I can pick out is maybe to add punctuation. but hey, just my thoughts, don't change it if ya don't want to. | I like your work and keep it up! Jussy | Posted on 2005-11-30 00:00:00 | by Jussy | [ Reply to This ] | I thought it was a good write, but there were some spelling errors. it needed more flow, and some more rythem. but other than that I liked it. | | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by lost and alone | [ Reply to This ] | Good poem, | ![]() You have a good flow, you really write good poems, you really use good words, words I don't think of using, and if it happens that you have an idea of a word, but can't find it, write a simple word like big, and then use a thesaurus on word or any other places. So okay, one last thing... lemme think, hmmmm at the end maybe write a stanza that SHOCKS, lemme find an example for your poem that would fit..... Glory be to God who created darkness so calm and the moon so bright insted of that.... Glory be to God who created the moon so bright and the darkness so calm... maybe, It gives suspense, and ending with the antonym of ur poem, I dont know but it doesn't look good I think, I'm really picky lol, anyway, good seeing short poems, the long ones dont make me feel like reading them, espeicelly the ones who r not seperated, all in a big pack with long sentences *sigh* ![]() Kev- | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Wolfeye_666 | [ Reply to This ] | At first I was rather unnerved by the fact that you were praising darkness and had catagorised this as religious. It almost seemed as if this was a gothic praise to the devil. Ha ha. Although, true as you are, and stereotypical as I am, just like God created light, he also created the darkness, and it is probably the most comforting time of prayer, at night. | Please allow me to point out some spelling errors. In line eight: "darkened", in line ten, and again in line thirteen: "beautiful". DeepDreamer2008 | Posted on 2006-04-18 00:00:00 | by DeepDreamer2008 | [ Reply to This ] | |