An invisible threat,
A sense of destruction,
A violation of faith.
An infectious dismay.
Ending all that is,
An unbearable deciet.
The sweetest symphony,
My dark divinity.
Embracing what is left,
Naught but fire and ashes,
There's no resort.
| The pain, fear and uncertainty of this piece screams out. I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like where you are, to have your home riding the balance like that. Whatever may come, I pray you find peace.|
|| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ] || A very deep and thought out poem|
I may be wrong but I am guessing you are talking about the situation in your country
Know that it is sad when we feel scared in our own house
|| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] || i kinda liked it.. really i can say is that the last stanza seems a little apart from the rest of the poem. i believe this is because it seems to act as the author does, while the rest of the poem just lists what is inside.|
i really liked the line "Indulging maliciously" and i assume that this is the feelings inside you taking over with no remorse? no end?
i really think this line could be placed within the last stanza, because it really seems to close up the feelings. Maybe you could try to rewrite your last stanza or vary the flow of the other stanzas more
good job, just rewrite it a bit
|| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by thehappyfaery | [ Reply to This ] |