Death why do I fear thee?
You who does sit
In anxious preparation for my birth unto your world.
Death should I fear thee?
You wait like the most adoring lover
To grasp my heart with your lifeless one
To chill my very bones into frozen beauty
You see the pale simplicity in my looks
The kiss of blueness tinging my skin
My lips supple with a crystal coolness
My cheeks flushed with a young girls last blush
Your dark eyes take my fragile body
And caress me
Driving desire deep into my soul
Every spot cooled freezes those petty emotions
Killing the simple passion that mere mortals dwell upon
You take my breath away with your touch
Such a longing I feel for the touch of your hand upon my breast.
My chest arches with desire as I bend and struggle in your grasp.
Your icy breath skims my creamy thighs
And sends chills through me that no ordinary love could ever do.
Weaving your long spindly fingers through my silky hair.
I grasp your soul begging with all my body for your coldness.
With each upward rocking motion I am lost
Your cold chilling skin inside my slowly freezing body.
I moan and scream with each throbbing move.
I am tight
I am at the top with you.
And when all is over...
I lay hand in hand with eternal sleep
Death is the splendid lover's dance.
| This is an incredible write|
I too like you welcome death
I certainly dont rush it but I welcome death knowing that I will be reunited with loved ones and will have a joyous reunion with them and The Heavenly Father
I really like how you captured the feeling
The only thing I disagree with is the description of Death as Cold
|| Posted on 2005-12-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] || I agree with Brown, she is absolutely correct. |
Your poem is very interesting, I never thought of death being arousing, and yet your poem aroused me very well. I would have to say that is the first time I think anyone has associated death with erotica, I could be wrong but I haven't seen any other. Keep on writing what you feel, not what "they" tell you.
|| Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by crowded_mind | [ Reply to This ] || I disagree with hunting...there are no rules in poetry if we all wrote like eachother who the hell would want to read it? we all have our own style or own flow...and along the way we find that we have 'fan's (using the word loosely)|
I loved this piece...I think you should leave out the description about two people making love and just leave this as it is...let your reader take from it what they will...
this had me thinking hot damn if that's what its like to die TAKE ME! TAKE ME NOW DAMN IT!
lmao then again that could just be my nympho mind at work lol ;)
I'm sticking to my excellent write!
ps...there is only one do in poetry
1.) Write to please yourself not others...
|| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ] || you lost me at the beginning.|
there are two don'ts in poetry
1) avoid interrogatives at all cost
2) leave the olde english to shakespeare
otherwise anything goes
|| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by huntingjonathon | [ Reply to This ] |