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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: hurtingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sushi wok
    ASL Info:    19/f/australia
    Elite Ratio:    4.12 - 64/67/13
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 574



    Description:
       i wrote this poem because i was really upset at something that happened at school. i called this person to come over to me in class and he just turned back to his work and pretented not to know me. that really hurt. turns out he didn't mean to turn away from me in the end.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshurtingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am hurt.
    What you did hurt me.
    But I do not cry.
    I saw someone in you that I did not know.
    Is this the real you?
    I hope not.

    I am hurt.
    What you did hurt me.
    This I cannot deny.
    The look on your face when you turned from me,
    Is the scar that I bear in my mind.
    And in my heart.

    I am hurt.
    What you did hurt me.
    Why did you pretend not to know me?
    You knew this would kill me.
    So why did you do it?
    Is it because you hate me so?




    Submitted on 2005-10-21 06:45:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      it was alright not really my cup of tea or as powerful as some of your other poems. i find that you stating that you were hurt twice was dragging the poem and i didnt quite feel the emotion in this piece as the others. im not sure if this was a forced write or maybe one that you thought would come out differently... believe me i have plenty of those. well all in all keep writing
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by withouthope | [ Reply to This ]
      You were able to describe yourself and the situation in this poem perfectly

    This write reflects how unselfish and truly loving you are

    You hold friends near and dear to you
    This is important in life as we always need someone to talk and turn to in a time of despair
    Stay Strong and remain positive
    Your on the right track
    Take Care
    Ron

    Thank you for your recent comments I will be looking for more of your posts Please keep in touch
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Its ok but not alot of feeling. Iam hurt what you did hurt me is ok you just need more in there.
    You also need to say what he did to hurt you and probable make a 2nd part
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Atavia | [ Reply to This ]
      "I am hurt.
    What you did hurt me."

    so simple and powerful. just that statement says so much, so many people are afraid to say just that.
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by RibcageRomance | [ Reply to This ]
      Like Mirr said you should expand on this more. Or do a second part to it and clarify the question at the end. I find the write really good maybe a lil more detail but i feel the emotions . But it is a good write. Keep It Up.
    Ali
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by sweet_innocence | [ Reply to This ]


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    78313

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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