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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Oracledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: inkonspikuous
    ASL Info:    21/f/va
    Elite Ratio:    5.94 - 76/74/26
    Words: 234
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 217
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1606



    Description:
       funny if pondered..is societies fear of a robot controlled world...you know the drill..just tell me what you think...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Oracledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Modernism has left no where to turn,
    and at the same time no wrong turn to make.
    Normalcy is a threat. Conformity is a disease.
    Try to make a unique path,
    and find that tolerance has swallowed the land

    Shock’s value is dwindling.
    For what is appalling today,
    will have followers tomorrow.
    Conform to the popular, or
    wallow it the rest of those
    who conform to non-conformity,
    either way identity, the moving target,
    will be nowhere to be found.

    Transcendentalism has left no trace
    of all things once thought to be black and white.
    What’s wrong is right, and what’s right is wrong, right?
    Obscurity is the new age mark of intelligence.
    Planned obscurities give way to brilliance,
    and the long fought after wisdom
    that only age was thought to bring.

    Embrace openness,
    the acceptance of all ideas and expressions,
    and watch the soul that makes it decisions
    based on its own opinions disappear.

    Pray, let these words possess you now,
    for you will forget them tomorrow.
    Fear not the things written
    for they come from a past that cannot be changed.
    Fear instead the fact that
    through modernism and transcendentalism,
    through the breakthrough of openness,
    and the extermination of opinions,
    shattered mirrors still clutter dark minds,
    and a wondering heart will still opt to wither
    before its secrets are revealed.






    Submitted on 2005-10-21 10:19:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is very good and I believe you are correct in that what was once wrong is now right. How often I have thought this very thing.
    How in time we have learned to accept those things that were marked for taboo give right to new followers that in turn will bring forth a new era of shame.

    If we look at all that has change over the thousands of years we will notice how we have given up values to be accepted.
    All in the name of modernization and hoping that we will seem wiser, when we only become in a way more ignorant.

    Such a deep and provoking image in this poem for someone so young. How is it that you have given so much thought to this?

    I like this a lot

    Nicely done

    Respect and Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2006-06-11 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      As you noted, not exactly a novel subject. I'm afraid I can't find much enjoyable about this piece-- where it fails is not a flaw in its message or its intent, but rather, a flawed execution of what you mean to say. The words "transcendentalism" and "modernism" appear-- more than once, too. This is not a philosophy paper.

    "Conformity is a disease," the first line reads-- the second stanza goes on to point out that conformity is not the only problem, but frantic noncomformity as well. Then the third stanza attacks postmodern obscurity-- and, bizarrely enough, juxtaposing it with transcendentalism, out of all the things. There's little to no flow-- especially when it's not a mere commentary on the state of today's society, it's a sermon.

    Embrace openness comes off as a command, rather than a suggestion, or a thought experiment playing itself out. Rather than, "If we embraced openness," or "In embracing openness, we..." it is a straightforward "Embrace it!" -- in the name of transcendentalism and modernism.

    Pray, let these words possess you now, only serve to further the feeling that you're preaching a message-- your own personal philosophy, perhaps. Many poets (and prose writers) championed their philosophy in their writings (Emerson and transcendentalism, Ayn Rand and Objectivism) but few actually went out and named them, and the most successful were subtle about it. Even after their philosophies are discredited and abandoned, their works stand separately as great literary monuments. (I love Rand's The Fountainhead but disagree oh-so-strongly with the philosophy that runs behind it).

    My advice would be to put the writing first, rather than the message. Philosophers and other academics can afford to put writing second and content first when doing essays or postulating theories, but it's only a poem!! Its significance will not come from you blatantly preaching ideologies.

    If preaching must be done-- do it subtly.
    | Posted on 2005-10-22 00:00:00 | by mara | [ Reply to This ]
      no. im sorry. i cannot agree with sethesin. i thought this poem was kind of thought provoking. dont rely on books (im guessing that means religious beliefs) and others around to show you who your true self is. the world needs to know those words. and these lines:

    Pray, let these words possess you now,
    for you will forget them tomorrow.

    its so true. just as our society left exclusive conformity from (for example) the puritan society, pehaps one day, we will be placed back into it? and

    Embrace openness,
    the acceptance of all ideas and expressions,
    and watch the soul that makes it decisions
    based on its own opinions disappear.

    that was my favorite verse.
    i think you did a good job on this one.
    keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by thehappyfaery | [ Reply to This ]
      You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck.
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]


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