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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dropping Aciddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LoneWolf
    ASL Info:    16/F/Earth
    Elite Ratio:    4.35 - 136/108/19
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 1100
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 642



    Description:
       Disclaimer: I DON'T SELF MULTILATE

    anyway, this was about my cousin's cousin, who did that one thing with car battery acid or something... it was sad cus she's actually kinda pretty, but she makes issues in her life sometimes.
    as far as i know, she only did it once, but the scar will last a lifetime.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDropping Aciddots
    -------------------------------------------


    A drop of acid on my skin
    A drop of pain on my heart
    Erasing the memories within
    Before they rip me apart
    I know it's bad
    I cannot cease
    It makes me mad
    And the drops increase
    All these scars
    Skin eaten away
    I've gone to far
    I'm fading today
    This is odd, I see
    But I won't stop
    It's eating me
    I can't washit off
    My friend, my acid
    Betraying my pain
    It never ended
    Just suppresed in my brain
    Drops of acid, eating me alive
    To continue, to stop... I can't decide




    Submitted on 2005-10-21 11:20:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ummmmmm ok its cool I guess but why dont u take a hit of acid and write a storry about how your mind tweeks out and what u think about. I dont know if u even tried it but I thought I was god once.
    | Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by DrewDilla | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved it, and adding this to my favorites! nothing you really need to improve on. I loved how you wrote this and how the words flowed together! Excellent work!
    | Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      There were some cool analogies...I liked the flow, it was sad but flowed fluidly. I really enjoyed this one...it's almost like watching the person helplessly. I liked the emotion and right amount of detail here...this is definatly a favorites addition:) good write.
    peace.
    | Posted on 2005-12-04 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is magnificent. I would have totally thought it was about you, but after reading the description I relized it wasn't and was like woah. To be able to put someone elses pain on paper (or a computer) and also make it your pain and make it good is quite impressive...atleast to me, I have trouble doing that.

    I think it could become even better with a little revising and a lengthening, maybe over time. But for now it's great...a really good read.

    Keep it up,

    Miss M.
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by fightingirl19 | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting rhythm. It flowed nicely. It is sad when someone would do that to themselves. But it happens all to often. You got your message across clearly. Maybe a few more descriptions and it would be perfect. :P
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      Your flow was choppy, good then stop, good the stop. I liked how you were talking about battery acid instead of just cut and spin. It was something that made it original. Scars are maybe the hardest part, something so great leaving something so horrible. Though the people who use stuff like battery acid, hair spray, alcohol, mostly want the scar. It was a really good poem. The type that echos alot.
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by Red_reaper | [ Reply to This ]
      good analogy.. i love the line my friend, my acid be traying my pain... thats a great line. i dont really care for cutting poems because theyre often filled with self-pity but something about this one hits home... i like it.
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      Actually I disagree with the first reviewer. Cutting poems arent filled with self pity, merely attempting to get people to understand. This portrays a cutters thoughts well. The whole "I know what I'm doing, I know the effects, yet I cant stop" very powerful.
    Nice work
    Keep on keepin on

    XOxoXO,
    me
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by angelfyre | [ Reply to This ]


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