anyway, this was about my cousin's cousin, who did that one thing with car battery acid or something... it was sad cus she's actually kinda pretty, but she makes issues in her life sometimes.
as far as i know, she only did it once, but the scar will last a lifetime.
A drop of acid on my skin
A drop of pain on my heart
Erasing the memories within
Before they rip me apart
I know it's bad
I cannot cease
It makes me mad
And the drops increase
All these scars
Skin eaten away
I've gone to far
I'm fading today
This is odd, I see
But I won't stop
It's eating me
I can't washit off
My friend, my acid
Betraying my pain
It never ended
Just suppresed in my brain
Drops of acid, eating me alive
To continue, to stop... I can't decide
Ummmmmm ok its cool I guess but why dont u take a hit of acid and write a storry about how your mind tweeks out and what u think about. I dont know if u even tried it but I thought I was god once.
Loved it, and adding this to my favorites! nothing you really need to improve on. I loved how you wrote this and how the words flowed together! Excellent work!
There were some cool analogies...I liked the flow, it was sad but flowed fluidly. I really enjoyed this one...it's almost like watching the person helplessly. I liked the emotion and right amount of detail here...this is definatly a favorites addition:) good write. peace.
This is magnificent. I would have totally thought it was about you, but after reading the description I relized it wasn't and was like woah. To be able to put someone elses pain on paper (or a computer) and also make it your pain and make it good is quite impressive...atleast to me, I have trouble doing that.
I think it could become even better with a little revising and a lengthening, maybe over time. But for now it's great...a really good read.
Interesting rhythm. It flowed nicely. It is sad when someone would do that to themselves. But it happens all to often. You got your message across clearly. Maybe a few more descriptions and it would be perfect. :P LeAnna
Your flow was choppy, good then stop, good the stop. I liked how you were talking about battery acid instead of just cut and spin. It was something that made it original. Scars are maybe the hardest part, something so great leaving something so horrible. Though the people who use stuff like battery acid, hair spray, alcohol, mostly want the scar. It was a really good poem. The type that echos alot.
good analogy.. i love the line my friend, my acid be traying my pain... thats a great line. i dont really care for cutting poems because theyre often filled with self-pity but something about this one hits home... i like it.
Actually I disagree with the first reviewer. Cutting poems arent filled with self pity, merely attempting to get people to understand. This portrays a cutters thoughts well. The whole "I know what I'm doing, I know the effects, yet I cant stop" very powerful. Nice work Keep on keepin on
Submission Name: Dropping Acid
