Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Inside My Shoesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 466



    Description:
       You want a description...aye yes. But hmmm. This is what I think that I will do. I think that I will please my mood and ramble a bit because indeed it makes me feel soo much better. But this is how I feel I say. I feel queer. So please I beg you just read my stupid little bit.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInside My Shoesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    and in the hole of my tenny shoes
    my toes poke out
    and they complain
    and I guess that really I have nothing to gain
    by keeping them this way

    but still,

    I guess that this injustice is ruled by spite
    this ill mannered attempt to get back at life
    only succeeds in hurting me
    and I guess that everyone knows
    that this self destruction is directly directed to my pitiful, pitiful toes




    Submitted on 2005-10-21 13:32:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      that reminds me - i need to cut my toe nails. they get to be a pain. if they aren't minded then they grow out of control - though that has never happened to me i don't think i want it. but when they do get really big i just have to cut them. i don't really feel like cutting them sometimes and i think that i'll just let em grow. but when they start poking at the ends of my shoes and i can't get thim in - that's a problem. u gotta keep an eye on the problem. any time it changes a little make a move who knows maybe that move will make all the bricks fall a part cause u hit the weak point and then you'll have one less problem to think about - like cutting my toe nails. well, that's my problem. it's gross, isn't it? . . . oh yeah - back to your poem, cool cool stuff.
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting and very original way of conveying a common message. That is always a good thing. The only complaint from me is that tenny shoes should be tennis shoes. Its sounds like tenny shoes when you say it fast though. :P
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      wow!i am pleased with this piece! very similar to so much of my own work the i was drawn completely into your work as if it was my own
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by The Minister | [ Reply to This ]
      this is what i love. the point that only you couldve made.. its a unique thought that isnt overdone but has a universal feel to it as though you know exactly whats being said.
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    78344

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry