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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Second Thoughtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ratboy
    ASL Info:    17/Male/South Slocan B.C.
    Elite Ratio:    5.17 - 50/73/22
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1633
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 524



    Description:
       Just an odd little thing I wrote last night. You like?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSecond Thoughtsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every second (this is true)
    A second dies, and where are you?

    You see, a second has a life
    Of just a second, then the knife

    For them death row is awfully fast
    Their first second becomes their last

    The final meal, a final prayer
    Then off to get fried in the chair

    So count them down, four three two one
    A minute’s daughter or a son

    And as you feel the seconds go
    Please keep in mind what you now know




    Submitted on 2005-10-21 16:37:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I read this poem and decided to actually watch a few of the little things die, and I really can't say I missed a single one. It's like the slaughter of mayflies really. Seconds are like pawns in chess, but without any of the character.

    I've known minutes that were very sweet, and a few that were rather harrowing. There have been times when I would have fought to the death for another hour. Days - they're almost like people, some friendly, some are real jerks, and some bore the living daylights out of me. But seconds - who has time to love (or hate) something that small?

    ...and that's part of the problem, isn't it?

    The Plonk
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by Th_Plonk | [ Reply to This ]
      luv it!

    I like the 1st 2 stanzas best, and I like the consistent ryhme...



    sorry I can't say much rite now, I might come back l8r 2 comment more, bye!
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Avril54 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is definitely a thought provoking interesting poem. It really does make you stop and think about how time can fly but also stand still. I like how you tied in the deathrow inmate and how time relates to this person, their final meal or prayer. Time is indeed precious. And even though we think we have lots of time left in our lives, we never really know, now do we? This is a good poem. It got me thinking and for that I say nice job! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm.. very interesting *strokes chin and speaks in funny accent*

    You have really gone into a different body to write this. A man sitting on D.R., waiting for his number to be called.
    Second by second the time goes forth, and yet we always wonder where the day went. And we have to do is watch, and we would know.

    If I may give a word of advice...step outside yourself more, see what you can accomplish.

    Great job, Sam...love the pic.

    Kim
    | Posted on 2005-10-22 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      My how time flies. LOL

    This a nice little thought provoking write.

    Time is endless but is gone in a flash.

    Something to think about.

    I guess we have to make every second count.

    Great write

    Respect and Admiration

    Wisdom Seeker
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      Kind of a quirky little write. I guess the brilliance of this poem is the choice of subject matter. Even though it has a quite an intellectual basis, you managed to avoid all the posing and flamboyantness that such a theme generates by keeping it short and kind of cute. The way you make the seconds sound like little people off to the electric chair and the knife is certainly odd and humorous.

    On a deeper level it is all about the passage of time and I think it was good how you managed to avoid such clichéd and done to death images like "passing through my fingers like sand". It is actually a common theme in writing since we all feel the pushings of time as we land in new and sometimes bewildering and contradictory stations.
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by kanu | [ Reply to This ]
      Very thought provoking, isn't it? The life of a second, as seen by...? I really enjoy this because it's such a good idea and flows so well from line to line. Kind of like "ask not for whom the bell tolls...", you can say ask not for whom the seconds tick, they tick for you.

    I like the way you've personalized them as being "a minute's daughter or a son" and then put it back on the reader with "And as you feel the seconds go". The word "feel" here is great. We all feel them go, but too often overlook them. Thanks for reminding us to "keep in mind" this fact! Very good!
    | Posted on 2005-10-21 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


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