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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The ancient.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kwanying
    ASL Info:    22/F/Denmark
    Elite Ratio:    2.1 - 23/29/13
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Misc/Legend
    Total Views: 186
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 925



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe ancient.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    A person is seen,
    no marks is made.
    The whisper is loose,
    fear has awoken.
    Legends are remembered,
    from the lips of the old.

    She arose from the grave,
    to guide them away.
    To protect her children,
    there was no boundree.
    Rules were broken,
    she had no return.

    Fom beyond time and space,
    she moved from her place.
    Hate was forgotten,
    love was awaken.
    She moved through it all,
    beautiful and tall.

    With memories in mind,
    and a soul with love.
    She flouded in the wind,
    which told of her arrival.

    A voice was heard,
    in the wind that came.
    The unspoken word,
    was yet again.

    Creatures answeared,
    from the dept of their souls.
    A yearning was shattered,
    their hearts filled with blood.




    Submitted on 2005-10-22 13:09:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hey!! the rhyming is excellent in this one! but again as said below u dont HAVE to rhyme! but this was really good and i thought the flow was great! good job!
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-07-15 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, i agree with part of the comment above. In the fact that this piece rhymes much better, but you don't always have to rhyme, moreover you must do what is appropriate for a particular piece to come across in an even greater way to the reader.
    | Posted on 2005-10-22 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
      Much better with the rhymeing. There are a few places where the rhyme is lost but it might be in the way I'm reading it. The only thing i can suggest to maybe use words that fit the rhyme where the rhyme is lost other than that its still pretty good.
    | Posted on 2005-10-22 00:00:00 | by Stinkywizlteats | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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