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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Desperationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: peanut911
    ASL Info:    19/f/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.89 - 19/19/8
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 872
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 569



    Description:
       Well last night i got drunk to escape and my boyfriend is very mad at me and so is my best friend. i'm havign quite the hangover and i feel awful for disapointing the two most important people in my life. i ahevn't written any poetry in a long time and so i want to get back into it as a means of venting so as to not sink to the pathetic low of drinking to escape. let me know what you think of it. critisize it, bash it, i can take anythign at this point. try to give me some helpful advice on how to improve if you can. thanx a lot.


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    dotsDesperationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Desperation I felt so great
    heavy on my heart;
    heavy on my soul
    My desperation to escape

    "From what?" you ask
    I do not know
    I have no good reason
    just wanted to hide; hide behind that drunken mask

    Twas nobody around
    I was all alone
    left to my thoughts
    to bring me further and further down

    I've disapointed you, I know I have
    That's what hurts me so bad
    Hurts not my pounding head,
    But my regretful heart.





    Submitted on 2005-10-23 08:45:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good poem. I think you have done a good job of expressing some sincere feelings. I was left feeling a bit in the dark though as you mention your bf and best friend are mad at you and I wondered about the reason, but I guess that is your business anyway. As far as the sentiment within this poem, it is very good. It is well written and expressed. I might have liked a bit more in the way of description, but as I have said, this is a poem about regret for something and it is written quite well. Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      The poem is good, your point is known easily. I have been there many times, but my poison was pills, not booze. I don't know your reasons but mine were simple, maybe you can relate, maybe not. I always felt alone, I couldn't talk to anyone who understood, all they did was agree. I was the person they came to for advice but I had no one to turn to myself. I learned over time that the only one who will truely understand you is yourself, some might relate but they don't have the same mind. Turn to your friends for help and if they stone you they aren't friends. Though I think hiding behind numbness to reality is the perfectly wrong thing to do. All that happens is you sober up feeling worse. Forgive yourself for what has happened and will happen, then your life might seam hopeful. The more you try to outrun the problems farther down they beat you. I'm not an imbecil who has lived a pampered life, I know how it feels, this is what I learned from my experience, what can you learn from your's?
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by crowded_mind | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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