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    dots Submission Name: Inner Childdots

    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/160
    Words: 487
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 823
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3198

       Just some personal musing and healing.This was revised 04/12/05

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInner Childdots

    Yes, I know she wants to talk.
    For years now I squashed her down,
    Shut her out in the cold,
    ignored her.
    Just the way stepmother did.
    Learned behaviour, you see.
    Not my way, not me!

    Oh but it was.
    I learned lessons well.
    Taught me in terror,
    I learned that to error,
    Meant retributions in hell.
    Abandoned in a well
    of deep emotion.

    You see I found my little toddler
    I love her and cuddle her.
    She knows she’s loved...
    But teenage me,
    Well I shut her out
    Like she often was.
    Left in the cold,
    Starving for attention.

    Stepmother made her you see
    Made me out of she
    and then didn’t like what she did see
    Nor me.
    So both of us shut that part out
    of me.
    I denied and denied
    until forced to look inside
    I saw her.

    Behind my false self she was hiding
    behind where fear was abiding,
    beyond the arrogance
    beyond the self righteousness
    beyond the shame
    God child, you were not to blame
    I ignored and despised you
    And abused myself inside.

    Reject and abandon
    Judge and judge
    All me! All me now!
    All my doing!
    I am she who beats
    myself up
    and denies you love.
    Well NO MORE!

    I cut my hands down
    from the hanging tree
    and take away the whips.
    Child there is no more
    need for you to be banished
    from the love in my heart.
    I face you
    I accept you
    I embrace you
    Know I am here for you

    Let me cry those tears
    From your eyes
    And wrap my arms around you
    In me you are now secure
    I listen to you
    When you need to talk,
    I cuddle you
    When you need love,
    I keep you safe
    When you feel afraid.
    I take the responsibility
    From your weary shoulders
    And release you from the burdens of the past.

    I now clear the hurts
    You should never have had to deal with.
    No child should carry such pain.
    Give me your pain,
    For I now release it.
    Trust me
    For I love you.
    I am the strength you need
    I love you
    I heal you
    I am here for you
    Find peace in my arms.
    Find peace in my heart.

    Look wider now
    See the universal implications.
    Know this all.
    What we reject in ourselves
    We reject in others.
    Check out the polarisations
    That play out before our very eyes.
    Owning projections
    and taking responsibility
    for our own shadows
    will help balance
    and heal
    our world.
    What plays out in our heads
    plays out in the world.
    Life is a mirror.

    Blaming and should be's
    are a disowners own tools for rejection
    What you see in another
    Do you reject in yourself?
    "But for the grace of God
    There go I".

    Submitted on 2005-10-23 11:12:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Beautiful. This was very very well written, the beginning was amazing, I was captivated... and although I am not a fan of the positive, I liked the end. The story (or reality) it was based on was told beautifully, you wrote beautifully. I loved every word of this.
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      there is a wonderful message in here, accepting ourselves for who we are.. old tapes play in our minds and they are hard to erase
    sometimes. this is so hopeful too about embracing your inner child, which we all need
    to do. good point too about rejecting things in ourselves that we criticize in others.

    well done!

    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the introduction of the wicked step-mother because it made this so different. It made it sound more child-like and fairy tale-like. I like the hope in this. To me the inner child is the sense of fun and adventure, and to surpress that would be horrible. It sounds like a soul death with a body that's still walking around like a zombie.

    I also think it's important for parents to recall what it's like to be a child. I've known people tell their kids how horrible they are, and I know they were wild as wolves when they were little. That's just a tangent, sorry.

    I think introspective pieces would sound weird written from any other perspective than first person. Some of the best poetry ever is written in first person (Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath wrote well in the first person).

    I do think you might be able to cut this down a little and still keep the meaning, but that's the minimalist in me. I hope you're well. Hugs and blueberry muffins, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting self reflection there... I hate to criticize pieces about oneself, so I'm not going to harp on the first person, almost annoying perspective this was written in... All I'll say is that I hope you can truly let go and rediscover the inner you that seems to have been lost so long ago... Good luck with that
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by Meckes | [ Reply to This ]

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