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Author: She Is Insane
Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 40 /60 /33
Words: 160
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1470
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1054


Not my best work. Just experimenting.


I've dreamed of neverland,
a place where you stay a
child forever;
where you're two feet
tall, with sticky fingers,
and dark round eyes
that explore the infinite

Because childhood is
less complex and imore
it's a time before reality
wraps you against its breast,
and rapes you, silencing
the screams with its
wings flaping across
your mouth.

Because its a place
where you run around,
safely, with no worries
except if Little Susie will
share her crayons with you.
Where you can fly if you
wish to,
where you can
be whatever you want.

I've dreamed of neverland,
back when I sucked
my thumb and
thought everything
was in black & white.

I lived in neverland,
when I used to be
a good girl.

Submitted on 2005-10-23 14:55:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  this wasn't bad at all. liked the step toward imagination. what kept me interested was the way you wrote this. it felt so calm and relaxing.

I lived in neverland,
when I used to be
a good girl.

this ending is true for most people. your start of your life as a innocent child but as your grown, you start to learn and see new things and ideas and then you kinda tip over the edge of your innocence. loved it. iam adding this as a favorite. lovely.

| Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
  Not too bad at all, I quite liked it.

You spaced out the stanzas well, so the reader doesn't get overwhelmed or bored, and I liked your take on the growing up and being raped by reality, that was a stunning contrast to the innocent descriptions of the rest.

I think you under-rate this, I reckon you did well.

be Happy

| Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]

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