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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Chains of Insanitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vampire
    ASL Info:    18 y/o female, Australia
    Elite Ratio:    2.34 - 16/16/6
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 266
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 727



    Description:
       when i first put my mind to writing this it was meant to be lyrics for a song my brother had written...however, i think it stands better as poetry to be read and recited rather than sung...this is my first published poem!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChains of Insanitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your fingers still caressing

    The rings my own wore,

    Your words slowly whispering

    Gnawing at my door.

    Your footsteps still echo

    Resounding in my heart

    Leaving me breathless,

    My heart to stop and start.

    Release me.

    I can hear you breathing,

    You’re still within my mind,

    Resulting fear, profanity,

    My eyes are falling blind.

    I cannot sleep the night,

    You’re everywhere in me.

    I’m bound to you by lost love,

    The chains of insanity.

    Release me.





    Submitted on 2005-10-23 17:40:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Yeah, this would make a pretty sweet song, I think everyone else pretty much said everything else that I would have siad, sorry for the lame comment, lol, peace.

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      O.k. not bad but I think you need to word things a little differently. Not that I didnt like ur poem! (It was quite good) I just feel the line "Leaving me breathless, my heart to stop and start." didn't flow with the poem very well.
    -hollowpain-
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by hollowpain | [ Reply to This ]
      Great flow, great wording, I agree with the others, would be perfect put to music. Awesome write, keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more of your work.
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by berly | [ Reply to This ]
      i think that i would like it better as a song...its has nice flow and is very well written but it doesnt flow enough to just be a poem...i think that music helps it alot...

    <3 Adalae
    | Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by lifeNsoul1224 | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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