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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Feels like love to medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hidden_cry
    ASL Info:    16/female/canada
    Elite Ratio:    2.74 - 23/25/13
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 204
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 528



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeels like love to medots
    -------------------------------------------


    I feel it when i go to sleep,
    I feel it when I wake,
    I feel it when Im with him,
    I fell it when im not.

    I see it in my dreams,
    I see it when i a wake,
    I see it when i look into his eyes,
    I see it when he looks at me.

    I love it when he holds me,
    I love it when he talks to me,
    I love it when he tries to make me smile,
    I love it when he's with me.

    Its only be a week,
    But I think this is love.





    Submitted on 2005-10-24 16:56:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the concept you are trying to get out to the reader...the way u presented it was a little shaky...your flow could use a little work but very nice effort.
    keep writing.
    Peace
    | Posted on 2005-10-24 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, but could use work. You must remember that I is not always a necessity in poetry. I think Emoticon Bob can tell you that . Average structure, reminds me of the first time I fell in "Love". I do think that if you had a more constructed meter, though, it would be a much better work.
    | Posted on 2005-10-24 00:00:00 | by KaffyBoy | [ Reply to This ]



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