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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: masterbationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet sorenity
    ASL Info:    24/f/ Ga
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 211/221/58
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 4390
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 765



    Description:
       this is not about self love. i just started typing and this is what came out.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmasterbationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    "humpty dumpty sat on a wall humpty dumpty had a great fall
    all the kings horse and all the kings men couldnt put humpty to gether again"

    well i think they gave up to soon
    i scream to the stars and cry to the moon

    well my sir i will be your glue
    i will try my hardest to fix you

    "my child" it looks upon me
    "you could never be free"

    "you are my pawn in this game of chess"
    "but good sir ill try my best"
    "child it is far to late"
    "but sir this cant be my fate"

    i screem at the stars and cry to the moon
    we cant give in its far to soon




    Submitted on 2005-10-24 23:06:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow, this poem was original, and hallarious, and a fav! wow, its so amazing the stupid and silly stuff we can write.... and where the hell did you get the title.... masterbation... i was lmao... yah its cool, funy, and hillarious!!!!!!!, anyway continue the great work, and yah hmmm, what was i saying.... oh wait was i talking to myself i dont know, anyway, i just arrived from KFC... mmmmmMmmMmmMmmmm, chicken rules... i also love cats.... want to taste some, they taste just like chicken!!! anyway, if you want to help me save the trees, do like me and eat the beavers!!!, but seriously i loved ur title, made me crack up, anyway cya!

    Kev-
    | Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by Wolfeye_666 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey nobody masterbates just once and after the 1st orgasm stops ..................right?
    so I decided to comment again
    so yeah humpty dumpty hmmmmmmmmmmm
    fukem--wtf was he doing on the wall anyway
    Lt
    | Posted on 2005-12-25 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      why is it that something with a title like this will undoubtedly get the most views out of anything you post? hee hee. i liked it, very well done. i thought i should read something of yours since you took the time to comment on mine. i think you're my new god. :D
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by m with two i_s | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah a few errors and it would definately make it better cause I kept stopping and in my head correcting you which you don't want the reader to do....but I get the little Masterbation thing and Humpty Dumpty and all but what does this mean really? I mean I understand the piece I just don't really know why or what the whole bottom line is here?
    LT
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      this is [censored] awesome, it's so awesome when someone uses a nursery rhyme to make a song/poem, and I know I love the title MASTERbation, awesome. But why didn't you read my poem, loser

    ...just kiddin'
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by vanhokinshtyl | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorry, I posted before I wanted too. All I have left to say is this peice was interesting and if you change the few errors you have a good poem on your hands. I would also like to formally welcome you to the site. It is wonderful, handsdown the best writing community I've been part of. Hope to see you around. PEACE.
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by ConScribe | [ Reply to This ]
      I too was drawn to this poem by the unique title, but I can't really see how this rtelates to masturbation. I didn't write it (obviously), but this doesn't seem to be about masturbation at all. It seems to me that here you are speaking of heart break, but what do I know.
    Perhaps Humpty Dumpty is used to relate to the breaking of a certain sexual organ (not to totally point any fingers, or other body parts for that matter), but I believe you can see where this particular third eye is coming from. I mean, come on, do I have to spell it out for you.
    Other than that though I really enjoyed this peice and look forward to reading some more of your rather creative peices.
    Some typo's= screem is really scream; perhaps you should change the sixth line to "I will try to fix you" to create a better parallel rhythm to link with the fifth line. The second to the last line has moon spelled with two 'n's.



    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by ConScribe | [ Reply to This ]
      its awsome and the name catches the attention
    its catchy im suck on it its intertaning
    and deep and maked you think after your done laughing
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by bloodied_angel | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very unique. I never would have thought to write a poem about humpty dumpty. Very good, lol, and very interesting how you put a story behind it. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      lol, i laughed at the name, masterbation. wow, haha it didn't remind me of self love, more of humpty dumpty sat on the wall and had a great fall, oh well it was enjoyable none the least.
    thanks, bye.
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Abort_Chaotic | [ Reply to This ]


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