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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Splendor of Rapturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 691
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 615



    Description:
       A prayer for love and lovers

    I recommend reading this one aloud at a moderate pace.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSplendor of Rapturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    May you forever
    be wrapped
    in the splendor
    of rapture,
    existing
    in the bliss
    of happiness.

    Each day,
    I wish
    that the
    rising sun
    is lifted
    by your joy,

    hope your clouds
    bring only soft
    refreshing rain

    and pray that
    embracing love
    will mean
    gazing into the
    welcoming eyes
    of a lover.

    My deepest desire
    is that the object
    of your greatest
    affection will
    always be
    in your mirror.




    Submitted on 2005-10-25 06:26:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The last 6 lines, in my opinion, are the best:
    "My deepest desire
    is that the object
    of your greatest
    affection will
    always be
    in your mirror."

    Also, breaking a line each two words is abit disturbing. Sometimes acceptable, though.

    @Sway.
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by Sway | [ Reply to This ]
      You're so right Chrys, even as we learn and grow, there is nothing to give unless we love ourselves.

    Just now I'm thinking this is a vital bit of advice. It has a calm and serene feeling to it that I like.

    Thanks for being you,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      This is such a lovely poem. How warm and gentle this prayer is and filled with such caring wonderful wishes. This poem describes what true love is really all about. The complete and total comfort and security of knowing you are loved. Knowing that you dont have to worry about being hurt. Knowing that even the clouds that bring rain are gentle and refreshing. And the ending of this is truly wonderful. One can never really know and appreciate love for all that it is and give it whole heartedly without first being able to love and respect themself. A very wise and truthful last stanza to sum up this inspirational and heartfelt poem. Excellent! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      What a beautiful and thoughtful wish for one you hold dear! To have friends such as you, one feels that they are very blessed. A good write.
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by AlabamaFarmGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the last lines of this.. self-love is so
    important. without it, how can we love another completely? this has a beautiful message that i
    needed to hear, thank you. it's a wonderful
    prayer.

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a very positive, inspirational poem. i couldnt help but smile when i read it. im in a bit of a tough spot, but it still made me smile. it feels really choppy, though. it reads really fast and choppy...not smooth and flowing like a love poem. great write, though.
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice little anthem. I can see it on a poster, it's very inspirational.

    I do think you could tidy up a couple of spots in the middle stanza, they are a teensy bit awkward:

    "I wish each day
    the sun rises
    on your joy, " this may be a typo, but It reads a bit funny. Something like:

    "As each day's
    sun rises anew,
    may it shine joy
    upon you"

    the other bit

    "and pray that
    embracing love
    will mean
    gazing daily
    into glowing eyes
    of a lover."

    again, a tiny bit awkward. Something like:

    "and pray that
    love looks on you
    through the cherished eyes
    of a lifelong lover" or something

    Just a couple of suggestions, use 'em or lose 'em.

    I really liked your words here, I'd have it on my wall.

    Well done

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful
    Great job

    I love the positivity exuberating from this write
    You showed total unselfishness in looking out for other people
    The way I try to live my life every day

    Great Job


    By the way if you can I will be reading at the redondo poetry groups poet night its on every tuesday not just today

    Please get back to me and let me know you can sign up to read too

    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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    78706

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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