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    dots Submission Name: Conflicting Consciencedots

    Author: Munchie_1226
    ASL Info:    25/F/E.STL
    Elite Ratio:    4.49 - 1831/1834/185
    Words: 424
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1316
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4405


    Don't ask me where this came from. I have NO IDEA.

    Just basically a quarrel between you and yourself. One side of you always wants to overthink things...while the other side just says...do it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConflicting Consciencedots

    "You did it again."

    I know shut up!

    "You did it again."

    Wasn't one warning enough?

    "You didn't listen."

    That's something I can't do.

    "You didn't listen."

    What would you do if it was you?

    "Your heart is weak."

    I thought it was strong.

    "Your heart is weak."

    What am I doing wrong?

    "Do you like the pain?"

    No, but it will pass.

    "Do you like the pain?"

    It's not my every day forecast.

    "Will you ever learn?"

    I try to every day.

    "Will you ever learn?"

    I can't just push love away.

    "How much longer?"

    I don't know, you tell me.

    "How much longer?"

    I guess in time, we'll see.

    "Will you walk the same path?"

    I don't see another.

    "Will you walk the same path?"

    There are still many rocks to uncover.

    "Well, I will wait."

    Wait for what?

    "For the day when you say you've had enough."

    Submitted on 2005-10-25 12:34:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hmmmmm I always knew you had a split personality...how are we so much alike sis? why do we make the same choices? Its not ignorance because i know we both "know" or "believe" this time will be different...but why are we afraid of TRUE happiness? perhaps it's fear of the unknown?
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah the ever powerful never ending questions one asks oneself. I liked this little mind blast you got here Li. The format rocks...the questions always seem to be bigger than the answers sometimes dont they? But the answers are always there no matter how insignificant they may seem at times. Cool stuff maynard. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      definitely different from anything i've read, and i think a very realistic view on someone fighting with themself. the way you repeat the same questions twice, it's like you're trying to drill it into your head... that makes no sense, does it? anyway, you did a great job as usual (i sound like a freakin' groupie). ...bb...

    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow this was completely different then anything I have seen, yet it worked out magnificently. The way one is always challenging while the other is trying to make it okay. It was short, but it hit the point well.
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Sweet as Sugar | [ Reply to This ]
      omgsh i've never seen a poem written this way before. i love it! the repetition brought a unique touch and the different answers to the same question showed me alot of uncertainty which many people can relate to. very nice poem. once in the poem a rhyme didnt flow as nicely as the others but overall very nice keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by withouthope | [ Reply to This ]
    that's freakin awesome! yeah, i love it and i totally relate. i think too much and i feel to much and usually what i'm thinking and feeling are complete opposites and there is a constant battle and struggle.
    i loved the format, it is just 100% great.
    daddy like.
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved the format of this piece because it illustrated the two sides of self so well. I often have that little voice voice that says, "when are you going to stop being so stupid?"

    Some of the longer lines of the literal voice tripped me up as I was reading. I think you could tighten them up a bit to improve the flow without doing anything to the meaning.

    It's not in my every day forecast >> It's not my everyday forecast.

    This is just an example..

    The great thing about this poem is that it fits so many different contexts, depending on one's life experience.
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually liked the deepness you displayed in this write
    You were able to show us a true and heartfelt battle with oneself
    I thought you explained it very well
    Your write showed good form and imagery
    Good Job
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Circling...not finding what you truly desire within life...is what this made me think of reading it...some circles are meant to be and take time...others are circles of repeat...not meant to be...I've been guilty of this a feww times in my own life...sometimes you just "cling" to what makes have some sort of "comfortable" feeling for the time...until ready to move on...or it just becomes old to you.
    Fine wording and well written.
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by MidnghtScorpion | [ Reply to This ]

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