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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Thank You, My Frienddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AlabamaFarmGirl
    ASL Info:    50/F/Alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 518/333/26
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1152
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 858



    Description:
       For friends that love unconditionally!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThank You, My Frienddots
    -------------------------------------------


    In my head, I can see your eyes
    Hear your voice and see your smile
    Knowing in my heart, you would be
    With me for quiet a while
    I may never get to see you again
    And your love, I may never win
    But you will go with me everywhere
    Like a treasure I was made to feel
    Treating me so precious and tender
    This will always and forever be remembered
    Opening my eyes and letting me see
    How true friendship was suppose to be
    A short time only we were allowed to have
    To spend together, just a little while
    Memory of that time will stay in my heart
    Even though miles have kept us apart
    A friend to you, I hope to always be
    For you will never know what you did for me
    Thank you, my friend for being there
    And really showing me that you care




    Submitted on 2005-10-25 13:42:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi AlabamaFarmGirl;

    How are you?! I hope you are fine....

    First of all I want to thank you for your comment on "Letter of Tears", I really appreciate it & I'm glad that you liked it.

    About this poem -which I chose to read as it's your featured- I really liked the concept of the poem, the main theme is a very good one.

    I liked the description, as it was direct & simple!! And the words "Unconditional Love" is what it's all about!!

    The poem in general was simple & direct to the point, but I must say that it kinda lost the imagination that usually adds value to any poem.

    Anyway, sorry for not responding earlier as I don't sign in a lot as before & thanks again for your comment.

    Keep it up,,,

    Yousef Hani
    | Posted on 2006-08-04 00:00:00 | by Yousef | [ Reply to This ]
      
    Well if you wrote this to me I would get
    All warm and tingly and think you were
    Being awfully sweet

    But you did not ask for thoughts you have
    Asked for an overall assessment, Which I guess
    Could include thoughts so I think this is very
    Sweet and as far as sending it to a friend
    Its perfect to express just how you feel
    It is lyrical easy to understand and I should
    Think anyone would be touched to receive
    Such a poem.

    Now the rest of what I say is just me trying to
    Access it from the stand point of what little I
    Know and since I have not managed to
    Get published (I do have some nice rejection letters
    Saying to please keep trying)
    take it for what its worth.

    Well It reminds me of popular country music
    Now I like country music so I donít consider
    That a bad thing, but I am not aware of any
    Publishers that are looking for this type of work.
    I understand that Nashville has more song
    Writers than they know what to do with.

    So from one perspective it is fairly ordinary
    And could use some metaphoric comparisons
    To living it up.

    Then you have a few lines that read a little
    Awkward these three in particular caught my
    Eye as be awkwardly structured


    A short time only we were allowed to have
    To spend together, just a little while


    A friend to you, I hope to always be

    So what you might try doing is to
    Write out the idea of your poem
    In prose donít think about rhyme
    Or rhythm, think about how you
    Feel and what you want to say,
    Try and make your point by comparing
    Your feelings to something else
    Instead of saying


    In my head, I can see your eyes
    Hear your voice and see your smile
    Knowing in my heart, you would be
    With me for quiet a while

    Try to think of something that the two of you
    Did together a fun day or intimate moment
    That made you realize how much this person
    Means to you, now its imposable for me
    To know what that might be

    But lets just say you spent the day
    Riding horses in the country first you
    Could write it out like in a journal or
    Diary trying to remember everything
    You can and get it down on paper
    Then try to think of something that
    Sums this experience up

    Together we rode the thunder
    Through the valley of laughing eyes
    With the music of the wild wind
    Your heart sang to mine.

    So thatís what I suggest in this case
    Take each important part of the
    Day you spent or maybe pick the
    Highlights from several different
    Days then try and make a metaphoric
    Comparison to explain how it made
    You feel and forget all about trying
    To make it rhyme.
    Dale










    | Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      very good. it reminds me of my best friend that i havent seen in about two years. would you mind if i mailed it to him?

    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by Whildkaht | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so beautifull Linda!

    It touched me deeply.

    The love, gratitude and touch of longing in this poem is just wonderful!!

    Lovely write Linda!

    Steve
    | Posted on 2006-01-02 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      Three words really stand out in this poem for me ...I mean just reached out there and grabbed me! "Always and forever"
    To make a long story short, these are the words I've put on every card and every gift I ever gave my wife doris Jean...
    This was really nice!
    !doc`
    | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Another beautiful piece about the positive, unconditional love that finds itself as friendship! This can even be a spiritual piece for the love of the Lord.
    Great!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This is once again a poem by you that truefully touched my heart
    You have a way of bringing out emotion thats been stored up for awhile
    I really really enjoyed this poem
    I can easily see this inside a card we right to long lost friends



    Fantastic

    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Not much I can add Linda. A very lovely and touching poem, written with care and a real sentiment of feeling running through all of it.
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      The heartfelt warmth and appreciation for a friend even though parted by space is so evident in your writing that it brings longing into my mind for those that I myself am parted from. Getting lost in your words almost allows for the random rhyming.
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by arkay | [ Reply to This ]
      To have someone touch you in such a way as indicated in this poem, is a beautiful gift. An emotional bond of two people that, no matter how brief, touched each others lives in an unforgettable way.
    Another great write from you.
    I enjoyed!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this piece...
    Very sweet and it is said well.

    I am drug into the back story of it. My mind fills in details that are not on the page.

    I like the poem and the story.

    I may never get to see you again
    And your love, I may never win

    Unrequited love?

    There is appreciation and longing side by side.

    Nice write.

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a wonderful poem! So very heartfelt and sincere! This is indeed touching. Reading this brings a smile to my face. It is always nice to hear of a beautiful friendship. Someone who can make this kind of impact on you is most definitely a blessing. Really good friends are hard to find. It seems we all think we have lots of friends until the time comes when we really need them, and it is then we find our many have turned to few. This poem expresses wonderful appreciation and gratitude to someone who obviously means a great deal to you. It is very well written and I wouldnt change anything about it. Just lovely! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really beautiful poem Linda, you did a great job on this one!
    And I just wanted to say thank you for being my friend too, I hope we're friends for a very long time!
    Oh, by the way, I again wanted to thank you for writing "Losing A Child To Adoption" for me, that poem really touches my heart!

    luv Melissa
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. The rhymes were very good, I thought. It kind of paints a picture of two friends walking through the park, sharing ice cream. Haha. Good job!

    [megan]
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by PolaroidMemory | [ Reply to This ]
      this is great because this is how I am feeling with a friend rite now and I did since we met...without going out he's helped me in five almost six months more than so many have in my whole life. it's great that you know what it's to have a friend like this...you really deserve it and I bet you are this kind of friend to so many ppl;) nice write...I liked it alot.
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This pice is kind of same rhymes...Like, I've heard the rhymes all before. They're very simple. The concept is great though. Very cute.

    Knowing in my heart, you would be
    With me for quiet a while <<< I think you meant, "Quite".
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by BenevolantWords | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good write. Yes I agree with sandman. Some people never find this love of a friend.
    Thank you so much for sharing with us.
    God Bless and keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]
      this was great and very powerful to touch someone or something the way you discribe is a gift of life, some people never find this
    well done and thanx for the comments on my posts
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice !!!! This is a really awsome poem of friendship. Friendship is such a beautiful thing to have. Soeone to love you and let you share with them anything thats on your mind, bothering you, or thats holding you down. Friendship is also a very hard thing to loose I remember the night of my classes graduation that was the most happy and sad day of my life, happy cause I was out of high school but sad because I was going to leave some friends behind forever, I ll never forget embracing my friend aaron who was leaving for dallas the next day and thinking that I was loosing him for along time this poem is a really nice tribute to all the things about friendship and I think I am going to add this as a favorite..

    much LOVE
    James
    | Posted on 2006-08-03 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    78745

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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